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Dating Etiquette

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Blitty

Blitty

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So...I meet chick at bar for first time, I get there first and purchase my drink, then she shows up and buys her drink. At next bar I purchase both our drinks. At second bar, after slight hesitation, I offer to buy the round; find out its cash only; say im low so can you spot the other half. We then grab delicious pastrami sandwiches; per my recommendation; I buy our meals; $15. Third bar to meet up with her friends, There is major hesitation by both of us; really awkward just sitting in front of bar discussing our drink choice but neither makes a move; right when im about to cave in, her friend shows up and buys round for everyone.

In he past, the large majority of the time, I would usually purchase every drink. In the next week I have roughly 2-3 other dates planned. Way too much money to be a chump and buy every single drink, for every single first date.


Chime in people. What is the proper etiquette for these type of situations? 21st century, girls are supposed to be more independent and equal, right? I think there was a point where should have opted to buy at least one round, no?
 
I have a few questions for you before I can properly answer with my opinion.

Why are you going on so many dates? Are you looking for love or are you just looking for pussy? How are you meeting these women and what are your conversations like before the date?
 
Robyn
I have a few questions for you before I can properly answer with my opinion.

Why are you going on so many dates? Are you looking for love or are you just looking for pussy? How are you meeting these women and what are your conversations like before the date?
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Meet people/get laid/possible long term.

it depends.

internets. blah blah blah..I just moved here..i dont know anyone...wanna meet for a drink.
 
Blitty, if you are interested in pursuing the girl, I'd recommend buying the drinks. If it is more of a friend type thing, make it clear up front that you will buy the first round (which should be a hint to her to get the second round and so on).

You must not have been very interested if you are already thinking about other dates.
 
Eh, she was ok.

You bring up aNOTHER INTERESTING POINT THOUGH. oops sorry about caps.Anyways, I grew up watching tv and movies, sitcoms etc...Isn't dating multiple partners normal? Whether I loved or hated this first date isn't it common and normal to have my other dates set up or....? clear this up robotyn
 
Blitty
Eh, she was ok.

You bring up aNOTHER INTERESTING POINT THOUGH. oops sorry about caps.Anyways, I grew up watching tv and movies, sitcoms etc...Isn't dating multiple partners normal? Whether I loved or hated this first date isn't it common and normal to have my other dates set up or....? clear this up robotyn
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with dating multiple people, just as long as you aren't hiding it or lying about it. Which most people do.
 
The women I have dated and been with over the years have always paid their share. You take turns or whatever. I don't recall ever having to make an issue out of it; I guess I gravitate towards women with a healthy level of integrity and self-respect.

What kind of lummox would just sit there and expect someone to pay their way?
 
Mudcat
The women I have dated and been with over the years have always paid their share. You take turns or whatever. I don't recall ever having to make an issue out of it; I guess I gravitate towards women with a healthy level of integrity and self-respect.

What kind of lummox would just sit there and expect someone to pay their way?
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You absolutely nailed it Muddy.

Blitty, watch out for these types of women. They will only expect that all the time. Caveat Emptor. NEXT!!!!
 
It's perfectly normal and okay to go on dates with different women. More than likely, the women are doing the same. The only time that should stop is when you have gone on a few dates with one of the women and you opt to try to make things work with just her.

Usually, the guy pays for the first date. If you're going bar to bar, I don't see a problem with taking turns paying for drinks.
 
Blitty, firstly you need to be careful. Girls can be cunning anywhere but NYC chicks seem to have it down to an art form as a means of survival. I have a couple of friends who supplemented their food and alcohol intake solely by dating a never-ending supply of suckers with deep pockets.

But back to your question: If it was a first date and you'd asked me out, and we stayed at the same bar the whole time, then I'd offer to pay but I'd be a put-off if you allowed me to. I'd definitely insist on paying if/when we had a second date though no matter how much a guy argued.

If we were bar-hopping though, there's no way I'd let you pay at each new place. Definitely a situation where I would've stepped up and paid. And I sure as hell wouldn't pull that hesitation thing. Not only does it make things awkward which a first date tends to be fighting already but it's manipulative. I actually wish you'd got up and left her there with her damn mouth gaping open. (Sorry but women like that piss me off.)
 
Is "paying for drinks" considered paying for sex if you get laid that night?

I believe it is, although not directly and it's not a business transaction like with a hooker.

The only way to get "free" sex is to knock on doors and proposition females that answer the door.
(Trust me, this works)

Blitttaaaay, there are LOTS of apartments in NYC, what are you waiting for?
 
I say budget properly and don't go on more dates than you can afford. You should be paying for drinks if you take a girl out to a bar. If after a drink or two you aren't really vibe-ing with her, then let her pay, but if you like the girl, you should be paying.

Just my two cents. Letting her pay (with anything short of a LOT of resistance on her part) signifies, in this society anyway, that you are either cheap or broke. Neither is good.

If she's one of those girls that doesn't take no for an answer and INSISTS on paying even after you repeatedly tell her you will, ding ding, you have a winner.
 
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