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Dating Etiquette

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Vegas Dave
I say budget properly and don't go on more dates than you can afford. You should be paying for drinks if you take a girl out to a bar. If after a drink or two you aren't really vibe-ing with her, then let her pay, but if you like the girl, you should be paying.

Just my two cents. Letting her pay (with anything short of a LOT of resistance on her part) signifies, in this society anyway, that you are either cheap or broke. Neither is good.

If she's one of those girls that doesn't take no for an answer and INSISTS on paying even after you repeatedly tell her you will, ding ding, you have a winner.
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Davey, you've been drinking the kool-aid pal.

When I was younger I believed the guy should pay for dinner etc. As I got older my beliefs changed as I know women earn good money themselves and are always saying they want equal treatment etc. now when i go on a first date I politely inform my date that each of us is responsible for our share of costs, ie she buys her own movie ticket etc.

If there is a second date I have no problem paying for drinks etc. I don't want to waste $$$ on someone I won't be banging (or seeing again). First date expenses are a waste of money if there is no second date. If she needs to be impressed by you spending money on her then you probably shouldn't expect her to ever pay for anything should you continue to see her.

Basically I'm saying I don't want to set a precedent of being the one to pay for everything.
 
betplom
Davey, you've been drinking the kool-aid pal.

When I was younger I believed the guy should pay for dinner etc. As I got older my beliefs changed as I know women earn good money themselves and are always saying they want equal treatment etc. now when i go on a first date I politely inform my date that each of us is responsible for our share of costs, ie she buys her own movie ticket etc.

If there is a second date I have no problem paying for drinks etc. I don't want to waste $$$ on someone I won't be banging (or seeing again). First date expenses are a waste of money if there is no second date. If she needs to be impressed by you spending money on her then you probably shouldn't expect her to ever pay for anything should you continue to see her.

Basically I'm saying I don't want to set a precedent of being the one to pay for everything.
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Fair enough. You are quite right, you shouldn't have to pay for everything just to impress a girl. Your strategy makes perfect sense.

I'm just old fashioned on certain things, this being one of them.
 
Vegas Dave
Fair enough. You are quite right, you shouldn't have to pay for everything just to impress a girl. Your strategy makes perfect sense.

I'm just old fashioned on certain things, this being one of them.
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Dave, I understand perfectly as I used to be the same way (long time ago), but the truth is that women can not respect a man that they consider a pushover. Buying your way into good standing with them will certainly fail at some point.
If she's into you she won't care about you paying for stuff.
 
Bread
Man this thread reminded me how good it is to not be dating. I mean, sure the neverending flow of new and exciting sex is a big draw, but all the trivial shit like this drives me crazy.

GL!
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So you're saying that since you're with Rubyn all this has stopped completely? You don't have a goomah?

Bread, U need to get laid, pal.
 
I guess in hindsight, I should have just bought the first 2-3 rounds with no hesitation, and then at that point if she is still not making an effort to contribute just stop drinking. When I asked her for cash at the 'cash only' bar and then I paid for our meal at the 'cash only' restaurant, that probably made me look suspect. But she was very satisfied, she stated multiple times, with the delicious meal (Katz') that I had introduced to her, in her own city. For that reason, I was kinda expecting her to quickly grab the next round at the next bar. I was considering just walking up to bar and buying myself a drink...Is there any situation where that would have been acceptable?
 
betplom
Davey, you've been drinking the kool-aid pal.

When I was younger I believed the guy should pay for dinner etc. As I got older my beliefs changed as I know women earn good money themselves and are always saying they want equal treatment etc. now when i go on a first date I politely inform my date that each of us is responsible for our share of costs, ie she buys her own movie ticket etc.

If there is a second date I have no problem paying for drinks etc. I don't want to waste $$$ on someone I won't be banging (or seeing again). First date expenses are a waste of money if there is no second date. If she needs to be impressed by you spending money on her then you probably shouldn't expect her to ever pay for anything should you continue to see her.

Basically I'm saying I don't want to set a precedent of being the one to pay for everything.
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In my head, I kinda want to say this, but I don't think I could.
 
betplom
Dave, I understand perfectly as I used to be the same way (long time ago), but the truth is that women can not respect a man that they consider a pushover. Buying your way into good standing with them will certainly fail at some point.
If she's into you she won't care about you paying for stuff.
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There is a HUGE difference between paying for a girl on your first date and being considered a pushover. Yes, if you pay for everything on multiple dates and worship the ground she walks on, sure, you'll likely fail at some point. But a touch of chivalry does not = being a pushover.
 
Vegas Dave
Just my two cents. Letting her pay (with anything short of a LOT of resistance on her part) signifies, in this society anyway, that you are either cheap or broke. Neither is good.
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I completely agree. I lose a lot of respect for a guy that allows me to pay on the first date. IF I offer and he lets me pay, it's pretty much over.
 
Blitty
In my head, I kinda want to say this, but I don't think I could.
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Then make a joke of it, something like "Just so you know, its a rule of mine, I only pay for the first two rounds on first dates, but I'll consider paying for the 5th."

Now you are establishing she isn't getting a free ride all night without having the outright "talk".
 
Vegas Dave
Also, consider other forms of meeting up, like a coffee shop or something for a first date. Don't always need to pay a shit-ton on a first date, coffee and a scone will set you back $5-10 total.
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Most sensible post in this thread.

betplom
Davey, you've been drinking the kool-aid pal.

When I was younger I believed the guy should pay for dinner etc. As I got older my beliefs changed as I know women earn good money themselves and are always saying they want equal treatment etc. now when i go on a first date I politely inform my date that each of us is responsible for our share of costs, ie she buys her own movie ticket etc.

If there is a second date I have no problem paying for drinks etc. I don't want to waste $$$ on someone I won't be banging (or seeing again). First date expenses are a waste of money if there is no second date. If she needs to be impressed by you spending money on her then you probably shouldn't expect her to ever pay for anything should you continue to see her.

Basically I'm saying I don't want to set a precedent of being the one to pay for everything.
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I gotta hand it to ya, you have balls. If a guy told me that up-front, I would automatically assume he was a nickel & dimer. Those types irritate the fuck out of me. I don't expect the guy to pay for everything on a first date. I believe in taking turns, if the date involves more than one tab. But to split a bill up the middle, buy your own movie ticket, etc? That's not really a date. That's going to the movies/dinner with your pal. And why are you taking someone to a movie for a first date?? Isn't the point to get to know someone? Plommer, you are a weird dude. With hairy balls.

betplom
So you're saying that since you're with Rubyn all this has stopped completely? You don't have a goomah?

Bread, U need to get laid, pal.
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Robyn does, too.

:saviordog:
 
Bread
Man this thread reminded me how good it is to not be dating. I mean, sure the neverending flow of new and exciting sex is a big draw, but all the trivial shit like this drives me crazy.

GL!
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Ditto. Though I must admit, I do wish I could take my new and improved slimmer body out for a test drive. That said, I'm still about 40 pounds or so away from being hot stuff :(
 
Vegas Dave
There is a HUGE difference between paying for a girl on your first date and being considered a pushover. Yes, if you pay for everything on multiple dates and worship the ground she walks on, sure, you'll likely fail at some point. But a touch of chivalry does not = being a pushover.
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Yes. This this THIS! ^^^ (I have a case of the lazies today)
 
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