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Dating Etiquette

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Teela
I completely agree. I lose a lot of respect for a guy that allows me to pay on the first date. IF I offer and he lets me pay, it's pretty much over.
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'Ill pay for it'..'No Ill pay for it'....NO seriously Ill pay for it'...NO NO I am paying for it!!!'....


Isn't this little cliche mind game completely played out??

Id feel like an idiot having this conversation in this day and age. But I suppose its 'pretty much over' If I don't play these games, right?
 
Blitty, if it goes back and fourth more than once, neither are being sincere. And if you have to think this through to the point of frustration, stop taking them to the bar on the first date. Or do what Dave suggested and make the funny joke up-front BEFORE YOU MEET HER. The reason being, if you say it after you meet, chances are she will instantly feel that you aren't attracted to her.
 
Blitty, I only offer once. If he insists, I let him pay. If there is a second date, I fully intend on paying for that date. I don't believe that a guy should pay for each date.

If we do something after dinner, like go out for drinks/coffee, I insist on paying.
 
Robyn
Blitty, if it goes back and fourth more than once, neither are being sincere. And if you have to think this through to the point of frustration, stop taking them to the bar on the first date. Or do what Dave suggested and make the funny joke up-front BEFORE YOU MEET HER. The reason being, if you say it after you meet, chances are she will instantly feel that you aren't attracted to her.
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Well... now that you bring it up. My level of attraction to her will affect the hesitation time between drinks. Is that bad?
 
Teela
Blitty, I only offer once. If he insists, I let him pay. If there is a second date, I fully intend on paying for that date. I don't believe that a guy should pay for each date.

If we do something after dinner, like go out for drinks/coffee, I insist on paying.
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I agree that a first date meal should always be paid in full by the guy. I just think that several rounds of $10 each drinks, is a whole other circumstance.
 
Robyn
I gotta hand it to ya, you have balls. If a guy told me that up-front, I would automatically assume he was a nickel & dimer. Those types irritate the fuck out of me. I don't expect the guy to pay for everything on a first date. I believe in taking turns, if the date involves more than one tab. But to split a bill up the middle, buy your own movie ticket, etc? That's not really a date. That's going to the movies/dinner with your pal. And why are you taking someone to a movie for a first date?? Isn't the point to get to know someone? Plommer, you are a weird dude. With hairy balls.
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Huge fackin' hairy balls my dear, and quite weird, yes.

I'm no "nickel and dimer" I'm quite generous but my experience with city gals made this policy practical.

I'm now in my 40's and most of the women I meet are mostly divorced/with kids and/or have careers so my method has a purpose - to cut through the "chaffe".

If she's interested and sees me again she'll quickly realize I'm no cheapskate but I am just not interested in spending money on first dates that have no future.

I stopped being a nice guy along time ago, pal.

PS: I do spend money on first dates with hookers, but those usually have a happy ending.
 
MrMonkey
Old fashion like Davey, guy pays for everything. MrsM hates cheap fuks. Of course this was a long time ago, probably be very confused dating today!
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Pavy
I buy all the drinks on dates. Don't like to be labelled a cheap bastard when the date goes bad.
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I see you where you guys are coming from. It is easy to say that your are chivalrous and non-cheap when you are in your 40's and married. Things are different these days. Women have demanded to be equal, and they must deal with the pros and cons of their demands. Most people don't want to be used or taken advantage of. Girls have way to much power in the dating scene. We as men must take back some of this power and put them in their place.
 
Blitty
I see you where you guys are coming from. It is easy to say that your are chivalrous and non-cheap when you are in your 40's and married. Things are different these days. Women have demanded to be equal, and they must deal with the pros and cons of their demands. Most people don't want to be used or taken advantage of. Girls have way to much power in the dating scene. We as men must take back some of this power and put them in their place.
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This has nothing to do with all that. You're just trying to play the field and not pay the price. Don't make this a crusade, haha.
 
Some things to consider...

Paying for the date may not be the issue here. The fact that you 1) Need alcohol on a first date and 2) Can't be upfront with a girl, be it with a joke or a talk, about not paying sounds more like some blitty issues that need to be worked on.
 
Blitty
You have a point plommer. I am seriously considering canceling the rest of my dates, and researching the local area hookers. Its time to be logical and face the facts.
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Blittaaaay, once I have advised my date that she will be paying for herself I then move on to just being myself, the charming & funny guy that gets women all wet from just listening to me speak.

Blittaaaay, I once briefly talked to Robyn on the phone - she started to get aroused and quickly handed the phone back to Bread, she still feels bad about this (she even said so herself in a recent post) but it really wasn't her fault, plommer knows how to rev a womans engine.

(I constantly get the old "that was so great I should be paying you" compliment from hookers)
 
Stop dating broke college girls and all that awkwardness will go away. You pay first and then go with the flow depending on both your situations - if you're working and she's living off of student loans you pay for most if not everything. That shit should never be an issue. Can't believe that people put so much importance on lunch-money kinda deals. At the same time, no guy wants to look or feel like a schmuck.
 
RogueScholar
If you can't afford $500 as a weekly dating budget, perhaps you need to spend less time meeting strange women and more time looking for a job.
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He probably could afford more than $500 a week in his budget but he would likely have to pull the funds from his $100k gambling bankroll.
Not recommended, you should really not touch your gambling roll, $100k is the minimum.
 
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