Random thoughts

Alright last one.

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A lot of people off forum strongly encouraged me to keep doing it when I was playing on the street, even though I sucked!I have to come through for them (without affecting my day job, of course).

Let's see where this is at in a year.
 
I've decided to sober the FUCK up. NOW. How many people in my family line have died from fatal alcoholism? I don't want to know..

Let's do this right.
 
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Wow 7 to 15 inches of snow incoming day of guitar delivery.

If Amazon guy makes it and I see him, he gets $20 cash in addition to online tip.

If he doesn't, I more than understand.

It's like wow.

Just wow.

Damn.

I fucking care about that guy and hope he stays safe.

Mother Nature, wtf is your problem?
 
Probs 8-12 for us here. Looking forward to it. Dragged my non-creative ass to the gas station for a couple gallons, got the salt in buckets, strategically parked the car in the driveway (no garage). Bring it on.
 
Probs 8-12 for us here. Looking forward to it. Dragged my non-creative ass to the gas station for a couple gallons, got the salt in buckets, strategically parked the car in the driveway (no garage). Bring it on.
It’s healthy to embrace it, pal.

:handshake:
 
So, alright. Real talk.

With Mom not doing well (and I pray every day but yes I'm not happy with God right now (but I know it's not personal, it's life)) along with learning to be a funder it's been stressful as fuck. Absolutely nothing wrong with my employer whatsoever ever (they are so good not only to me but to the country/world) but it's like I'm used to being a loan officer, not a funder. I've had to crash course (and no, it's not rocket science) to keep up with the experienced people. Numbers, files, etc. Repeat. I just get such a headache and feel lost sometimes. It works out based on effort but I want this to be less stressful.

You just can't fuck up bank wires or many people - including borrowers (priority #1) are affected. Then company people and it filters down and you get slammed with emails on how you negatively affected the team. If anything I appreciate their patience.

My production is impressive because when I'm on point I'm good at most things I invest time into. They approve my overtime every time (which doesn't happen to everyone) But with the stress lately worrying about Mom I short out. I have incoming stress balls for that along with the guitar for the off work vent, etc. Awesome people I live with now but I know they're sometimes afraid of how fast paced I can get (or at least I think that) and this is a good, peaceful environment for me to focus on transitioning from being self destructing to successful.

The volume needs to be there but it absolutely has to be on point.

I do know that my energy level is off the charts and I'm blessed with that, and very thankful.

So, I asked you guys for the energy advice and that was very, very solid which I am deeply thankful for.

But, like I said you can't fuck up these files or they have to terminate you. I'm not saying I've been told that but I know how things work.

So, we circle around to the how to make this work with the Mother stuff and other things I try to get my mind away from - they're in the past and the past is the past.

I ran into this article and thought that if anyone has any thought on it it could be cool.

Any thought on it are welcome.

 
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A mortgage funder is responsible for fine-tuning all the final details of your loan so that you can pick up your keys, get the moving truck ready and start enjoying your new home.

A loan officer assists consumers and business people in choosing a loan product and applying for it. This person is the main contact with the financial institution through the loan closing. Most loans require a pile of paperwork, and mortgages are the worst.

I'm fine with the paperwork. What I don't like is cold calling. So I hate it. I respect the heck out of many LO's, don't get me wrong. Another thing I don't like is too much sales pressure. Nothing like making $5k one month and nothing the next. I was able to help a lot of incredible people out being an LO which is cool, but nothing like someone telling you that they're shopping around with 8 different companies and you hoping they get back to you. Plus, some LO's sales can be REAL pieces of shit both to clients and coworkers in ways you've never thought of. The bully sales person. The bait and switch piece of shit. Won't expand any further on that because it makes me sick but some people that do truly evil things just to try to make a quick buck. A good portion of those people were put out of business by the government after the housing crisis which is awesome, but some still find sneaky ways to pull off bullshit.

This company doesn't hire people those kinds of people which is truly cool.

Learning funding has been very challenging for me because honestly relating to people is mostly easy for me, but the juice is definitely worth the squeeze, if you will. It's just been tough for an old dog to learn a new trick. They've been very patient with me I think because they can see that I will put in effort to make up for my shortcomings (which will eventually not be shortcomings).

Just with everything going on with my Mother I haven't been able to sleep much at all so I have all the symptoms that go with that - which is a pain in the ass.

That's why I've been buying all the Amazon stuff because I know I need a release that doesn't interfere with work. Finally got some exercise this morning and ordered that creatine that Casper mentioned awhile back, and the guitar and the comedy should help too.

Another cool thing is I'm starting to make pretty good friends with my one drummer/music teacher roommate, we talk real shit - he's cool as heck and he gets me. He knows some things about guitar and rock vocal singing so that's cool as well.

Another cool thing is I wrote this post in what, 5 minutes? So I'm learning to type pretty fast yet accurate which is cool.

So fucking hyper though, and no not on drugs. It's like what fucking planet am I from right now, lol.
 
Maybe you should be on drugs?

Yup, legal ones. You know me Machu, I take everything to the max so I gotta stay away from that illegal stuff. No direspect to people who do them though.

When I was unemployed I smoked some pcp then some really weird weed with this hot Spanish chick and woke up in a bus stop with no idea what happened.

Yeah, good way to get robbed or worse in Philly.

Going to try to write a cool song about that experience.
 
Dental appointment tomorrow, been way too long and there is a re-occurring issue that needs stop asap. I'm pretty fucking scared about that but it's becoming too distracting.

Taking the drinking down a notch and possibly quitting, to come through for the company. Deeply cool roommate has a good NA hookup. Debating it. Tried to blast through the Mama K shit with beer and ran into a mental block. That's a quick self destructive cycle, right there.

YOU HAVE TO COME THROUGH FOR YOUR TEAM.
 
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I actually reached out to a friend that's known me for decades. He is a very successful AA guy and I actually owe him quit a bit of money only because he's an incredible person. We get it cleaned up and we pay him back.

Probably do both.
 
steves this meme had me feeling warm and fuzzy inside. hope it does the same for you
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Kevin Spacey deeply annoys me.

"It's never too late to get it back", "I want to look good naked" in American Beauty. Two of the best lines ever in one of the greatest movies ever.

Gets the role of Kaiser Sose in Usual Suspects, one of the best roles in the history of movies.

The role in 21, another classic movie as well.

All that money, all those great scripts - and yes he did a classic job on those.

Then guess what?

He's a fucking disgusting pedophile.

What a piece of shit.
 
I don't have to shower for another half hour
cause money is power and fake is hate
position is success only met with preparation
H
On your ass
so don't miss class and lose that rash cause your game is trash

Heavy stuff