I'm getting laid this weekend

  • Start date
  • Replies 557 Comments
  • Views 36,455 Views
Herman. Do not, I repeat do not let her control the action. It's a disaster waiting to happen. You must control her and therefore control yourself. Take Daft's advice and spend a long time taking care of her first. Finally, don't put too much pressure on yourself by telling everybody that you are about to get laid by a black girl you have been lusting after.
 
This is an impressive thread.
 
Good thread fellas! Being that I haven't done it before, I never really thought about sex non-stop. Now I don't think I'm going to make it to the weekend.

Good advice on not talking about it any more until it happens. The girl mentioned that she watched porn, but also that it's fake and she doesn't think the women are enjoying themselves in it. So I took that to mean no porno-type moves, we will just find something where both of us are comfortable.

I guess I'll rub one out on Saturday morning. Also no pics and I will not post one. She doesn't deserve to have her picture thrown all over the internet as a sex symbol.

So I guess the first time after I shoot my load, how long do we wait before round 2?
 
Setting aside my broken heart, I'll add my own suggestion to this thread. I think it's important for the man to set the ambiance for the love-making chamber. Purchase a couple aromatherapy candles and keep them in your ride. Also, burn a CD of some sultry tunes, gotta have some Al Green, Keith Sweat, BoyzIIMen and a few sappy ballads towards the end a la Engelbert Humperdinck and Mario Lanza for the afterglow. Keep the CD in a boombox in your ride and when the moment happens you'll have something to focus on that won't be your own nervousness.

The length of the songs can also serve as a stopwatch for any nasty cunnilingus which you may find yourself performing. Every second down there feels like an eternity, so be a gentleman and give her at least two songs worth.

If you find yourself too worried about premature ejaculation, invest in a cock ring. She'll have fun putting it on you and you'll enjoy the firm pressure at the base of the shaft which delays your big moment. Oh, and don't forget to have a little lube on hand, you never know when it might come in handy.

Last, but certainly not least, make sure she sticks a finger in your butt at some point during the night. Might as well break through all the barriers at once, eh buddy boy?

 
Excellent advice by RS reference candles and music. Low light/candle light makes teh secks way better. It does a good job of hiding imperfections.


Awful advice by RS reference the cock ring. Introducing a cock ring into first sex is just creepy. Maybe RS was just hittin us with some funniez.

Finally, as Bread mentioned, you will know when it's time for Round 2. If you need a ballpark figure go with 10-15 minutes but this is by no means a strict timeline.

Herman, what are your thoughts on doing a little manscaping before the big night?
 
LOLLLLL @ Herman busting out a cock ring on his big first night. OMG!

May as well break out the ball gag and horse saddle as well, Champ!

gabegay.jpg
 
Hey now, I was 16 when I lost my virginity and I used a cock ring. It worked spectacularly, I might add. You guys are too vanilla to give good sex advice.
 
Scholar, I think I'm going to have to pass on your advice.

Good advice Daft. I will be taking care of it before the big day.
 
Fine, go screw yourself Herman. I didn't even want to participate in this abomination of a thread, but out of my deep and abiding affection for you, I decided to toss you some pearls. Your loss for not taking them.

I swear, I'm running out of genders to be attracted to. Women are cunts and men are pigs. Fuck the whole species!
 
Explain why I'm a pig please. Because I don't want to listen to music during sex or because I won't wear a cock ring?

:clueless:

BTW I always said I would never change who I am just to get a girl. It worked, because she is attracted to ME, and not me being someone else. So I'm going to continue rolling with what got me here so far.
 
You're a pig because you have no class, Holmes. I took time out of my day to share some thoughts with you about a topic I didn't even want to be exposed to in the first place. But instead of showing a little courtesy and saying something polite and then quietly ignoring what I said, you just flat out said you were going to ignore it. That's why people don't like you and it's why after getting a look at the real you this chick is gonna run for the hills.

You will die alone.
 
unexpected change

rs has a point though