I'm getting laid this weekend

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Badnina
what will help him last longer?
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He should have been doing what I was doing since a very young boy...spanking it.

My emergency procedure is to pull out and think about death (or sex with your mother), trust me, it works!

When I was a young buck I would just let it happen and then show up for second half....nothing to be embarrassed about.
 
betplom
Perhaps you should have titled this thread something a little snappier, how about:

Herman fucks a nigga.

or

White cock black cunt weekend.
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:lmao: Like these ones alot better!
 
I didn't realize that guys have to "prepare" for a couple days to get laid.
 
Herman this is wonderful news.

Herman you absolutely MUST go down on her for some time. It will blow her mind. As long as she's not too funky. (Some sisters are, I don't know why.)

Herman this will also help with endurance issues. If you just stick it right in and about to explode within a minute, you're in troubles. Going down for 10 mins will stretch out the situation.

Herman this is AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! You are indeed, big time. :guitar:
 
Mrs. X
Don't imitate porn. Most girls don't like their cooters spit on or their tits bounced around like punching bags.
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Herman this may be true but if your girls says "Herman, fuck my pussy with that big hard cock" she's obviously into porn and wants you to spit on her cooter and punch her titties. Probably wants you to pull out for the money shot and jizz all over her face too.

Clues Herman, wait for the clues.
 
If there is an endurance problem, tell her it is because she turns you on so much. At your age you should have a short reload time so keep trying.

Have fun.
 
Sweet thread. This is like I'm reliving *my* first time.

Ok, not exactly.
 
Congrats herman.

In other news, durito will most certainly not be getting laid this weekend.
 
Teela
I didn't realize that guys have to "prepare" for a couple days to get laid.
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We don't. Ear muffs Teela.


Hermy

Being you are planning this though (which I blame on her for telling you you're going to get some but not right now) here is an intinerary:


For women sex is not just the sex. It's everything that leads up to the sex as well. DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE UPCOMING SEX ALL WEEK. That will make the whole thing very unsexy and awkward. So, the first thing on your itinerary is

1) If you stop by her place or vice versa this week spend some time kissing her without mentioning the upcoming event. She'll feel wanted and sexy but not like "oh christ this guy is a cheeseball".

2) Go get a haircut about 3-4 days prior

3) Make sure you have condoms. Don't buy them on the way over to her house. You'll have enough on your mind without having to buy a box of skins at the local pharmacy. www.undercovercondoms.com is also a great way to buy them.

4) This one is important. When the big night happens, make sure you dedicate a good 15 minutes to foreplay. If you don't know what good foreplay is, ask a female friend about it. Women give the best advice on how to be a stud. Bread's suggestion is excellent. Don't be afraid to ask her if it feels good or is she wants you to do it differently. Communicate!

5) If you come too quickly, don't make a deal out of it. She won't. Just get right back in there and you'll be ready for round 2 before you know it pal.


Weed, X and coke don't make you good in bed. Experiences and confidence make you good in bed.


Good luck pal and report back
 
ask your father if you have one.

ask your mother what she likes.
 
What Dafty said, but with one amendment...

X certainly doesn't HURT matters! :moped:

VIVA LA HERMAN!!! LA ONNER LIVES!!!!

:lock:
 
Plommer, I think I've got a good title for you buddy!

We all heard of Debbie Does Dallas, how bout

Herman Humps Harlem!

Herman, unless your going to marry the girl, can you at least gets us a photo of her to analyze? Thank you and have a good time! Use protection son! :thumbup:
 
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I think Mrs Monkey should give some advice in this thread.

This thread promises to be HUGE!
 
I may have to take another hiatus from posting after reading this thread.
 
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