Matty Rain was scheduled to get laid last night

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Matty
she probably subconsciously picked up on the complete lack of sexual tension between the date and I, and the date picked up on the fact that I had more in common with my very shy roommate than I did with her.
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Matty, let us know when you start banging the room mate. We all know its gonna happen.

You know what else is one day gonna happen?

Mrs. X will shirtcunt in my presence. Yep.
 
betplom
Mrs. X will shirtcunt in my presence. Yep.
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Probably in the spring? I believe she is letting it grow out over the winter just for you. Sweet!
 
MrMonkey
Probably in the spring? I believe she is letting it grow out over the winter just for you. Sweet!
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Pal, like I needed a reminder. Common! Plommer remembers these things.

:betplom:
 
betplom
Pal, like I needed a reminder. Common! Plommer remembers these things.

:betplom:
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:up: By the way, nice looking avatar! You would have to be a real homo not to want to be with that! :greencheck:
 
Matty's roommate is nice. Don't bang her, that would make things weird.
 
fiveteamer
Matty's roommate is nice. Don't bang her, that would make things weird.
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Misery loves company eh? Just because you aren't getting any means Matty shouldn't either, right?

MrMonkey
:up: By the way, nice looking avatar! You would have to be a real homo not to want to be with that! :greencheck:
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agree
 
Do not underestimate a woman's ability to painstakingly choose the absolute most deceiving pictures to post on her FB account.

Fiver I know. But.
 
Matty
Do not underestimate a woman's ability to painstakingly choose the absolute most deceiving pictures to post on her FB account..
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Just throw her under the bus. Should have stated this with the posted pic. I still like her!
 
Really, you think so? You think I got a shot? What with the puking, drunk rambling and shoe rack incident? I'm in like Flynn.

Screw you plommer. I had sex on Wednesday and I didn't have to pay for. Eat a dick biatch.
 
fiveteamer
Really, you think so? You think I got a shot? What with the puking, drunk rambling and shoe rack incident? I'm in like Flynn.
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She's a similar mess Fiver. Girl can't handle her liquor. She's been sick a couple times from partying like a 19yo amateur.
 
fiveteamer
Really, you think so? You think I got a shot? What with the puking, drunk rambling and shoe rack incident? I'm in like Flynn.

Screw you plommer. I had sex on Wednesday and I didn't have to pay for. Eat a dick biatch.
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:lmao: :clap:
 
Matty, I"ve only met one chick that would qualify as a fat ugly blowjob....... for the most part they don't exist...... let her suck your dick pal. According to pally fat chicks are far hornier than your good looking hot chicks.
 
I once dated a Mara who was bi.

She was tall and skinny and had a great body. But she didn't shave her pubes. She didn't even trim. It was like a fucking forest down there.

But she was tight. Real tight. Then she decided move to the Dominican Republic to some amnesty work or something.

Anyway, good luck in your future endeavors Matty.
 
AJ is right, if you must Matty, put a large trash bag over her body with just her head visible. :dunno:
 
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