Happy thanksgiving everybody
Unrelated to thanksgiving but I love the far side
The Onions guide to a great thanksgiving
Every host wants to pull off the perfect holiday gathering with a delicious, stress-free meal that leaves friends and family happy and satisfied. Here are some helpful tips to ensure your Thanksgiving is pleasant and memorable:
Accommodate your vegan guests by providing a few unappetizing dishes
If guests bring dishes of their own, give the dog a bite first to confirm none is laced with poison
Invite guests to lend a hand in the preparation by periodically dropping a utensil in the kitchen, shouting an obscenity, and slamming the oven door shut
Instead of worrying about dirty dishes, leave them outside overnight for the raccoons to lick good and clean
Keep bringing out food to avoid participating in any conversations
I told you a thousand times to cook the stuffing in a separate dish, and now its all soggy. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Say a phrase like Here it is! or Its time, everybody! when bringing out the turkey
Have children sit at a smaller table so they feel gigantic
Cook a dish representative of each guests ethnicity and then say, This is for you, as you hand it to them in front of everyone
Avoid potentially awkward situations with creative seating arrangements; for example, try putting a chair or two on top of the table and maybe one in the bathroom
http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-onions-guide-to-hosting-a-perfect-thanksgiving,30471/