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Movie Talk - 7/21/11

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Bread

Current Corpse
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Lots to catch up on here. Sorry.

Exit Through the Gift Shop - It starts off as a documentary about some street artist but I guess once again, the joke is on us. I know I must be getting old now because as beautiful much of these guys' art is, I felt they should all be put in jail for disrespecting peoples' property.

Our Gang - We rented a dvd in hopes to see some of this classic tv show featuring Alphalpha, Darla, Buckwheat, Porky and yes, even Petey! We got no such thing; just a bunch of other kids. While still funny, not as funny and that made me sad.

Not who I paid for
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It is pretty wild how blatantly racist several of the jokes were. The random black kid was the target of watermelon, jailed father and unwed parents laughs without a shame in the world. Different times I guess :dunno:

Casablanca - The historic Tampa Theatre has been running classics from the good old days. I'd never seen Casablanca before. I was surprised at the film quality right off the bat. I'm guessing the 1942 version has been digitally remastered or whatever. I also discovered a handful of popular everyday sayings that hail from Casablanca. I knew of a couple of them, but there were several more.

Ever since watching, I can't help but wonder what Humphrey Bogart's dick look like. I bet it wore a fancy hat and didn't give a damn.

Sucker Punch - Rewatch. Certainly one of my favorite comic book/video game/fantasy type movies. I love everything about it EXCEPT....this fuckin' guy.

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Scott Glenn blows in everything I've seen him in, and I'm guessing with David Carradine choking his Kung Fu chicken right out of this world, we'll probably see even more of him since they are pretty interchangeable.

Sanctum - I thought this movie was about an alien or monster that picks apart some team of specialists one by one (you know the deal). But nope, just a team of scientists who screw themselves over by not checking the Weather Channel before a big day in the caves. Matters are made much worse by the only two women on the team acting like women.

Horrible Bosses - My big return to the big screen was wasted on this dopey stupid dipshit asshole GTFO film. Maybe you've heard, Jennifer Aniston (although looking about as good as she ever has) stars as one of the horrible bosses and tries way too hard.

I can just picture the talks around the brain trust table - So yeah uh, we got Jennifer Aniston. You know what would be really wild and crazy and audiences would just have their collective minds blown? If we cast her as a potty-mouthed nympho! I mean, we really cut loose here. Have her repeat words like pussy. Cunt. Cock. Pussycunt. Cockface. And any other combinations of blush-inducing no-no's. People will flip their lids! I mean, we're talkin' about Rachel from Friends here! Minds will be blown!

Fail. I spent the entirety of this film embarrassed for everyone involved.

Lincoln Lawyer - I know you get what you deserve when you rent a Matthew McConaughey movie. That's why I keep watching these things. I love this guy in all of his horrible splendor. But jeez, hopefully they can at least keep me awake.

Fortunately he was able to meet his contracted quota of at least one shirtless scene in every movie. And I know what you're wondering - Why is he called the Lincoln Lawyer? Does he live in a town called Lincoln? Does he defend Abe Lincoln?? No. He drives a Lincoln. And at no point does his car intersect with the plot at all. Bravo :clap:

I love you so much. Don't ever stop
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Pee Wee's Big Adventure - Solid, solid, solid fuckin' movie. Has it all. PS here is my next silly tshirt.

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Switch - Oh oh. Two of the main components of 'Horrible Bosses' are back. Jason Bateman switches his goo to get Aniston pregnant and the hilarity ensues. I dunno, this movie weirded me out and the kid annoyed me. Unless you enjoy lots of talk and jokes about man goo (Plommel Horse) I would not recommend.

Fighter - I didn't think I would but I enjoyed it. This is only because it was less about boxing and more about the beauty of a top notch white trash family. I could really relate to this because just like Christian Bale's character, I would be a super good looking guy if not for all the rocks I've smoked in abandoned shacks.

Bale before and after rocks
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Bread before and after rocks
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Haha. Nice.

I saw Bad Teacher a couple of weeks ago. I didn't realize that Cameron Diaz was in it until the movie began or I would have never agreed to go see it. I'm not sure if it's her annoying laugh, her bubble gum personality and intelligence, or what, but I've never liked any movies with her in them. That said, I really enjoyed the movie - ironically enough. Diaz plays a gold-digging teacher who chases after men for nothing other than their bank account as the gym teacher tries to pursue her and gets the cold shoulder. It has some pretty good laugh out loud moments. It obviously doesn't need to be seen in a theater, but I'd definitely watch it again on DVD or whatever.
 
been catching up on a tv show called Life that was out for 2 seasons... bout a cop who was framed by other cops and spent 12yrs in prison...got out and the state gave him his detective job back and 50million and he basically tries to figure out who framed him...he solves a few cases here and there too.
has this hot motherfucker in it too...sarah shahi..
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she has her own show out now...dunno if it will make it to season 2 though :nope:

oh and if you havent watched a mini series called Luther, you are missing out on good stuff from bbc.
 
i went and saw that drive in last week with horrible bosses and bad teacher. i liked bad teacher better. In horrible bosses one of the main characters. jennifer annistons employee totally annoyed me. plus the acting was bad and it didnt end well imo.


excellent write up toast
 
It is pretty wild how blatantly racist several of the jokes were. The random black kid was the target of watermelon, jailed father and unwed parents laughs without a shame in the world.

lol


Ever since watching, I can't help but wonder what Humphrey Bogart's dick look like. I bet it wore a fancy hat and didn't give a damn.

:lmao:
 
Great stuff Mr. Bread. I love these reviews. Good lord, did someone take that picture of you after going to Lincoln lawyer and Horrible bosses, did you just come out of a double feature. That took alot of guts to sit through that.

If you can sit through those I would love to see your reviews of some truly awful films like Die hard dracula, lawnmower man 2 beyond cyberspace, tony blair witch project, hercules in new york, or Night of the lepus with the killer bunnies.

The strangest one I ever saw was Stay hungry , I was pretty hungover but it its a film about Schwarzenegger, mountain folk and has a scene where bodybuilders all get out in the street and start posing ,like a bodybuilder riot. Mr Pec-tacular!!

Keep a database of these bad lines for further use.


THE MOVIE: Pearl Harbor (2001)
THE LINE

Rafe: “You’re so beautiful it hurts.”
Evelyn: “It’s your nose that hurts.”
Rafe: “I think it’s my heart.”

3. The Wicker Man (2006) “No! Not the bees! Nooooo! Not the bees! My eyes! Arghhhhhhh! Arghhhhhh! Arghhhhhh!”

She’s All That (1999) The Scene: Laney (Rachael Leigh Cook) is on the receiving end of the makeover of a lifetime, transforming her from meek geek to high-school hottie.

THE LINE: ”I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. You know, except for the whole hooker thing."

A cry in the dark

THE DINGO DID EAT MY BABY!

Ever After

”A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?”

As we both know, the greatest is Gigli when Jennifer Lopez points between her legs and says to Ben Affleck,

"It's turkey time! Gobble, gobble, gobble!"

Hollywood magic!
 
If you can sit through those I would love to see your reviews of some truly awful films like Die hard dracula, lawnmower man 2 beyond cyberspace, tony blair witch project, hercules in new york, or Night of the lepus with the killer bunnies.

Oh man Greggy I think I love you. I used to have a hobby of watching the most horrible movies I could find and write/blog about them. It was so much fun. Alas, they were all on my now prehistoric myspace page. But it was so much fun. I've seen some really shitty movies in my day.

Love the Wicker Man mention up there. What a crown jewel.