Hooligans Sportsbook

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Does this dress make my ass look fat?


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Upon asking who that guy was sitting over there, semi-comatose from an overabundant supply of alcohol, I was informed that he was a recent recipient of the Governor General's award for poetry. At some point he got up and promptly fell down hard, creating a cut over his eye. You could see a bit of what looked like brains sticking out of it. Governor General awardee's bits of brains.

I was starstruck.

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That's a couple of big bottles there. I don't know what's in them but even if only one is hooch, that's a lot of hooch.

Then again, who am I to say?

I could see us having this conversation.



Mudcat: That's an awful lot of hooch you've got there.

Dude: Oh really, you think so?

Mudcat: That seems like more of an "at-home" amount of hooch than "public-establishment" hooch.

Dude: Maybe you're right. Say, why don't you put down your Governor-General's Award and help me carry these bottles home?

Mudcat: Wull, I don't have a Governor-General's Award.

Dude: Exactly. Fuckwad.
 
Mudcat: Okay, okay so you have a Governor General's Award and I don't. Way to go. What did you win it for?

Dude: Poetry.

Mudcat: Oh great, poetry. You write poetry and you go around calling people fuckwad.

Dude: Please get away from my table. I have a head injury and I want to be alone.

Mudcat: Hey, I noticed there was some flooding in the bathroom earlier. Maybe it would help if you went in there and recited some poetry.
 
We were fortunate to get a taxi back to our hotel last night. Guy pulled right up to let some guy who was PLASTERED out. This guy was so wasted, his bill was $25. He gave him a 20 and asked for five bucks back :lmao:

Once we got in the taxi we see this guy on the sidewalk just falling all over the place. Trying to get up and falling right back down.

I'm pretty certain he is either in jail, hospital or morgue tonight.
 
Mudcat
That's a couple of big bottles there. I don't know what's in them but even if only one is hooch, that's a lot of hooch.

Then again, who am I to say?

I could see us having this conversation.



Mudcat: That's an awful lot of hooch you've got there.

Dude: Oh really, you think so?

Mudcat: That seems like more of an "at-home" amount of hooch than "public-establishment" hooch.

Dude: Maybe you're right. Say, why don't you put down your Governor-General's Award and help me carry these bottles home?

Mudcat: Wull, I don't have a Governor-General's Award.

Dude: Exactly. Fuckwad.
Click to expand...

lol

muddy wins again. :dance:
 
Here's how to tell that your girlfriend is also a mom.

We are getting ready to go out. I am standing at the door waiting and, as she is scrambling around she says to me, "Okay I'm just about ready. Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or else sometimes when I am leaving her place and we are saying our goodbyes she says, "Be a good boy."
 
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