Random thoughts

So the virgin Mary conceived Jesus without intercourse. Doesn't seem fair.
A loving god impregnated her without the benefit of the pleasure of copulation. I would think the cock of the holy spirit would be divine and quite clitorillay stimulating.
So she gets none of the pleasure of fucking for Jesus but gets the pain of childbirth - god obviously a misogynist.
I'm not sure if Jesus was a bastard baby or not, either way Joseph was a cuck.
 
No one cares about that scumbag

I love college kids.

I'm drunk pissing on a realtor's office, and one shouts "classy"

I'm pissing in the park "man, look at that wide dick"

Also the cuties tooshies never get old. Sigh.
 
Telemarketing call

Cute Indian voice : Hi I'm looking for norma

No norma here you have the wrong number

We'll, since I have you on the line, do you have any property you'd like to sell?

You sound pretty hot

:Sigh: oh

We'll do you have any property for you'd like to sell?

I don't, you have a good day.

Let's analyze this call. Very cute, very innocent voice. No one short of a scumbag like Plommer would ever be mean to her . Very professionally rebuttalled me after I told her she had the wrong number. Handled me hitting on her perfectly.

Very short but very impressive call from her across the board.

She's hired to work the auto-dialer. Only Plommers phone number will be in the database. The pitch will go like this:

"Did you pay yet, scumbag? Why not? Why haven't you killed yourself yet? You know everyone hates you, right? How did you possibly get so stupid and ugly? You know that you're a total disgrace, right?

Then Plommers phone will explode like his dick when he watches videos of large cocks, like the one he posted an image of on this forum.

Let's add twink to the list of the embarrassing qualities (more like lack there of) that describe lardass.
 
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The best telemarketing call I've ever received went like this:

Hello is Stephen there?

I'm sleeping

Wake up sleepyhead!

She wins it for saying that in an adorable voice. The call I just received takes second for more professional reasons.

You know what a good idea for an ad is? Porn stars making dirty cold calls.

Hello?!?!

Yes, who is this?

I ask the questions around here you little man whore. Now spread those legs. NOW!

I smell a solid Saturday Night Live skit based on this concept.
 
I just remembered a scary moment from last night

I whip my dick out to take a piss

Tough Russian dude starts approaching me and says "don't you whip your business out in front of me"

Me: "my bad man I'm sorry I'm sorry"

Could've ended much worse.

Steves will make sure the coast is absolutely fucking clear before whipping it out in the future.

The college kids were funny about it. Getting clocked by tough Russian dude - not funny.
 
So basically I

Found 3\4 of a big bottle of Titos
Hoovered it
Was singing bad vocals loudly on a crowded st
Passed out on the wrong subway train
Almost got my ass kicked because some dude thought I was flashing him
Walked 6+ hours home in the worst parts of Philly at the most dangerous time to do so

Want to know how to get yourself killed in Philly? Short of walking around shouting racist slurs that pretty much sums it up

Very thankful to God for keeping me safe and sound

Steves - what in the FUCK are you doing man?
 
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I can't believe we permalost Muddy

He was our rock

Hope he's well. Casper as well.

RIP Legends
 
:lmao:

Best euphemism ever, you funny as fok fok

Not sure what you think I lied about though man, all this stuff happened

Finding 3/4 of a big bottle of Tito's is pretty unbelievable, but that's Samson St on a Sunday for you. Rarely lets me down.

The only thing I used about is marrying you. You're a great dude, but you're a dude so no dice.
 
Remnants from "the walk" are a banged up toe, a missing mitten and one boot fits a little better.

The missing mitten really sucks but I know what Tony Robbons would do from listening to Personal Power, he'd think about the better fitting boot every time his mind brought up the missing mitten.

Life is about choices and that's my choice.

"The wok"
 
If you were to have a battle of chips Fritos would have to be first and Cheeze-Its second. Tostitos would potentially be #1 but you need cheese and/or salsa with them.

For sodas Mountain Dew first with Dr Pepper a very distant second.

Anyone that even for one second thinks otherwise is just a horse's ass and needs professional help.

Now, I know what you're thinking - Steves, YOU'RE a horse's ASS and YOU need professional help.

To this I answer I agree and I am getting it from my uber hawt therapist. I can't wait to see her Wednesday. Wubbles and stuffs.
 
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