Nervous about outting tonight, looking for advise

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stevek173

stevek173

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Yes I know I said goodbye, but thought this would be a good place for this.

As we know I am in a depressed state, long story short good job gone to bad circumstances, etc. etc.

Grunting hard work and so glad my girl got me back in school to get that piece of paper that means so much.

That being said, my self esteem is extremely low right now. Basically have been athletic and felt what it is to be that, have made good money and felt that, have had a good job, good peers, etc. have felt that

Well now I feel like I have none of that but that's not the point. Me and my fiancee (who literally got accepted into grad school YESTERDAY which is awesome but I understand reality) are going out with a well to do couple tomorrow night, well...she has a decent government job. The other girl's man does very well for himself and they both look so happy every time I see them.

The gig is a Seafood Buffet, awesome spread. Honestly? I want to enjoy it. Looking for help on how to do just that, nothing more.
 
Steve, from what it sounds like you are very lucky to have the woman you have at your side. I would do anything to have that.

Focus on what you have, not what you don't. It seems like you have a good woman who loves you for what you ARE, not what you aren't. Your future is very bright, imo.

Don't go anywhere, man. Hang out with us.
 
You are already going into this assuming you are not worthy of their company. Don't try too hard to be "cool guy", just be yourself. Your fiance is with you for a reason. If she didn't feel that you would get along with her friends, she wouldn't have made the plans.
 
:clueless: eat the buffet

And if asked something you dont understand (in the words of George Jefferson) answer "I'll have to sleep on that"
 
Robyn
You are already going into this assuming you are not worthy of their company. Don't try too hard to be "cool guy", just be yourself. Your fiance is with you for a reason. If she didn't feel that you would get along with her friends, she wouldn't have made the plans.
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Really appreciate that just not used to this position - to be honest it sucks, I was raised to be the man (in terms or providing) and it's a weird spot...
 
Steve, you have no idea what the situation will be in 5, 10, 15 years. All I'm saying is if you have a good woman who wants to spend her life with you just as you are...well it can't be that scary, can it? It'll all work out one way or another. Just don't take what you have for granted. You're doing alright from where I'm standing.
 
Yeah, what Jello said.

Plus, I hope you aren't saying these things to your girl. Often, when you project a negative self-image, people actually start buying into it.
 
Go there and have fun without over analysing the situation and don't stick your dick in the mash potatoes.
 
it might look nice from the out side but who knows what people hide under their sheet

it seems you have a great relationship with your girl and that's your gold

have a good time, take them in. their bank account cant project class, you be the judge of that
 
Good point, Juror.

I remember one day when I was at church maybe 5-6 years ago in another life, the stage was full of their top ministry people. I always felt judged at church, didn't matter which church I went to. But as I sat there looking at (and feeling judged by) the people on stage, I thought to myself "I guarantee every single one of them has some sort of skeleton." Whether it be a sexual perversion, an addiction, enormous debt...the inside doesn't always match the presentation. Meaning, money and status do not a person make.
 
I agree with everything that has been said here, particularly about keeping your helmet clear of the mashed potatoes.

Look, maybe it is just my tunnel vision due to my own situation but I have to come back to things you have said in other threads. You were thinking about going to AA. My experience is that people who start thinking about that usually have a good reason. It is very rare for someone to say, "Gosh, things are going well - I think I'll try out AA."

You also hinted that the gambling may be going too far too. Those issues can definitely contribute to every problem you described: depression, good circumstances gone bad, low self-esteem. I realize nothing is black and white; that's why I use the word contribute rather than cause.

Sorry if I'm harping off-topic. In the short-term, definitely, focus on the positive as much as you can. But I am just thinking about the things that can be done for the future so that it does not take a concerted effort to see the positive and it just comes naturally because you really do feel good about yourself.
 
Steve....maybe to break the ice, grab some crab legs and purposely (yet discreetly) let one "accidentally" fly across the table when cracking it. And make sure it goes right through the middle of the table so everyone sees it. If you can make it go in slow motion and provide some dramatic horn music that would be great too, but completely not necessary.

Then when it hits the floor, look everyone in the eye and let out a hearty, boisterous laugh. And everyone will join you in laughter. Next thing you know, you'll be playing golf at the Governor's mansion. Trust me on this.
 
everyone is right
 
With uppity ups you have two options based on how they act

1) They love to talk about themselves, let the conversation revolve around them and stroke their egos.

2) They are sick of even being around kiss asses that don't act like real people around them and find it refreshing to have genuine people. Shift the focus to your fiance and how great she is.

Keep a smile on your face as much as possible and enjoy yourself even if you don't feel comfortable.

Start out with number 1 and see how they react to see which way to go. Ask the hubby about a tourney basketball game that only sports people would know about to see how much he knows. If he knows the info, then use that is your centerpiece of convo.

Hope everything works out for you Steve. Keep your chin up.
 
I don't know Stevie if your strong enough at this particular moment to handle being with 3 successful people and you being the biggest loser at the table? This might be too big of a step to take right now?

If things start going astray upstairs, start drinking heavily! Make sure the Mrs is driving just in case. Please now buddy, come back to us in a few days from now! We have Vegas Dave to worry about at the moment! Good luck!: :thumbup:
 
MrMonkey
I don't know Stevie if your strong enough at this particular moment to handle being with 3 successful people and you being the biggest loser at the table?
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Sorry, but that made me laugh.

Steve, you're gonna be just fine.

Damn Monkey. :lmao:
 
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