Wtf is that?

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Steve, grab an apple next time and when Shaniqua rings you out say “How you like them apples”!!
 
This morning I had a bum sitting outside of 711 say to me "sir you dropped your pistachios"
When I looked back he laughed and said " you didn't have no pistachios"

Wtf is that?
 
This morning I had a bum sitting outside of 711 say to me "sir you dropped your pistachios"
When I looked back he laughed and said " you didn't have no pistachios"

Wtf is that?
You should have grabbed your nuts and say "here's your pistachios!' and jabbed him in the face
 
Damn str8 I should've Rogue.

Fucker clowned me!
 
Pwned!

Fucker laughed too.
 
Oh man.

So I just got back from 711. Whilst exiting there I had a beggar pretty aggressively ask me for money, which I declined.

I was about to round the corner when I heard him say "did you drop these" and I couldn't make out the other word.

I turned around and the elusive word was nuts, he looked at me while grabbling and shaking his nutsack saying "don't be like that, just grab them, grab em!"

I think it may have been the pistachios guy but I'm not sure.

Wtf is that?
 
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It was him again yesterday. He went with a standard "what's up boss, got anything to spare?" ,
I grabbed my nuts and said " yeah, these - grab them."

He then punched me in the face and we hugged and became friends. We now alternate shifts begging and mouthing off to people
 
On a scale of 0 to Vintage Bacon, how drunk are we right now Stevie?
 
Zero. Nada. Still haven't touched the stuff. But I did make up the stuff about pranking the bum and then teaming up with him, my bad

He did call me boss though
 
Today I'm at the Social Security office in line to get in and this hot girl going the other way stops and asks me if I'm ok. I said I was fine why do you ask and she says you look flushed.

I think I look fine and she was hot.

Wtf is that?

Obviously an invitation for hot sex but I need a card, Daddy's gotta work.