Hooligans Sportsbook

Random thoughts

Follow
And sometimes I dream there is something called seps which is kind of like sex but subtly different. And the guy will say to the girl, "Do you want to have seps?" And she pauses for a moment because something didn't sound quite right but then she just assumes she misheard and says sure.

So they go at it but after awhile she says, "Hey, what are you doing? This is somewhat uncomfortable."

And he says, "I'm having seps, like I said."

"Oh, I thought you said sex."

"No. Seps."





:handshake:
 
And now, another episode of




KILLED BY A HUMAN



HUMAN: Say, have you ever noticed how, when someone gets shot in the abdomen, the bullet often goes right through them and out the other side?

HUMAN: Why yes.

HUMAN: I wonder if you could shoot a bullet straight down on that same person's head and have it come out their foot.

HUMAN: There is only one way to find out.




KILLED BY A HUMAN

 
wal66
Watched a video on healthy lifestyle through juicing. Ummm like actual juice not steroids.

Bought a juicer.

Bought some vegetables.

Bought some fruit.

Juiced some vegies tasted like ass.

Juiced some fruit, tasted less like ass kind of like fruit but still kind of not great.

FYI bananas don't juice they make banana paste.

FYI #2 when juicing vegies add a lil lemon to help (that's HELP but not a lot) make it at least a little better.

FYI #3 fok'n juicing is messy as all hell.
Click to expand...

bloody banana in a juicer :lmao:

I juice several times a day for the spawn and I. It's bloody messy for sure but so worth it. I've tried probably every combo possible and by far my favourite is carrot and apple. If you like apple juice you'll like this because you can't taste the carrot. Sometimes I add celery or ginger to it if I can be fussed but normally can't be bothered. Try it. :yes:
 
And now another episode of


KILLED BY A HUMAN


HUMAN: I like to stack people on top of people on top of people. A hundred high.

HUMAN: Say, doesn't the one at the bottom get crushed?

HUMAN: Sap. Of course.

HUMAN: Does he die?

HUMAN: No. Because I put him in boiling water for an hour first.

HUMAN: So he was already dead?

HUMAN: Sap.




KILLED BY A HUMAN
 
1395ad06ea3adbadaabb68b45b3e29a9-young-spider-man.jpg
 
Matty
I have a small existential crisis whenever an automatic toilet flushes while I'm still sitting on it.
Click to expand...


Yes.

Yes, I hear this.

I don't think I have had that happen but it seems unfavorably comparable to my regular thing where I take a dump at home - but my toilet is not always fit for man-sized dumps - so, as a clog-avoiding measure, I flush the dumpage away before starting with the toilet paper.

I find it an unsettling thing, my bare ass and genitalia over the swirling waters. Sometimes there are actual tiny water droplets that splash up - which is not good - but then sometimes, even when there are no droplets, even when I can't actually feel the waters, I can feel the waters.

There is a hypersensitivity of ass.

And that is being totally prepared for the event. An auto-flush must be a living hell.
 
Adding:



I am finding it just a bit weird how often programming my tape machine leads to me needing to take a dump. I grab my remote and sit back in my recliner and start checking out the day's listings to see if I need to tape anything - it's amazing how often the urge kicks in and the programming process gets interrupted.

Doesn't seem to matter if I do it right after I wake up or awhile later after I have checked messages and had a game of Facebook Jeopardy. Doesn't seem to matter if it is before or after I have gone to Tim's and picked up my tray of coffee for the day.

It is a remarkably consistent effect.


:dunno:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.