I had a convo today that was pretty good
but boys first i will tell you about what happened to me last week, i swear it is all true
i met this chick in brooklyn
hot fat peurto rican chick, but high class
I like fat chicks dont worry i wasnt "settling" i was super psyched
we got there, she is kind of annoying like all chicks but real hot and fatter than in pics which is good
she seemed to like me, and told me i was much better looking in person
i was like what about my bald spot
boys i swear she said "it's kind of cool" or something like that
it was an annoying hipster place i would never go to a place like this but she picked it
but i was being me and things were going ok
i was making my usual "mistake" if you want to call it that - being too "negative" ie honest
the smart thing to do is just paint a rosy picture like you have a great life and youre awesome and youre doing exactly what you want to be doing in life and youre "going places"
but boys me, i was honest, and trust me getting chicks to like you is like politicians getting the public to vote for them - of course you act like you are the height of honesty but in reality if you are actually honest you will get enormously dissed in 2 seconds. what you really are are a creator or an image that you know these idiots will like, and then you also have to pretend that the last thing you would ever do in life is create an image
boys trust me any woman who says "don't just tell me what i want to hear" will dis you if you tell her anything but what she wants to hear, and of course the first thing she wants to hear is that you would never just tell her what she wants to hear
anyway i am getting off topic i will try to keep this short
so we were hanging out, sitting there, and on maybe the second or third drink i swear this black lesbian sits down next to me
now i hate real lesbians for the most part. they think theyre smart but theyre not and they think theyre funny but theyre not. look at ellen, does anyone think shes funny??
so anyway im ignoring her but of course at one point she "laughs out loud" at something we said, so now she's in on the conversation
I knew at that point things were gonna go bad
they start talking about all this BULLSH*T and my girl is going for it because of course she's not that smart. all about "being in pain" in life, the black lesbian starts talking all this BULLSH*T about all these psuedo-psychology books and sh*t she has read. I think one might have been called "the pain body". now my chick is really into it. as expected, "whats your sign" comes up.
I will skip over a lot of stuff
so they are talking for hours, the black lesbian is saying classic annoying lesbian stuff, my girl is going for it in classic dumb chick fashion, im sitting there saying nothing, i start drinking a lot
then somehow at some point, the annoying dick hipster bartender starts talking to us, and somehow the topic of music comes up, and he rattles off a number of incredibly annoying hipster things about music
I momentarily didnt realize a) how much of a hipster he was and b) how utterly impossible it is for hipsters to laugh at themselves
so i made a joke about him being a "hipster robot" and thats when things got really bad. i dont remember exactly what happened over the next few minutes but in retrospect i realize i wasnt getting how pissed off he was getting.
and then, i finished my drink, and yelled out to him across the bar "hey hipster robot! lemme get another rum and coke!"
i thought it was pretty funny, and for some reason, thought he would too
but he didnt. and then he made some gesture and said "we're done" i didnt know what that meant i just thought it was some meaningless hipster thing
but then the black lesbian and my chick informed me that i had seriously insulted him and that he wasnt going to serve me anymore and that i should apologize
thats when i realized just how ill the vibe was getting
so me im a friendly guy and i said to him hey man im sorry dude i realize that was rude i didnt mean it like that
he shook my hand, but still wasnt going to serve me
i dont remember what happened next but just ill ill incomfortableness between me and the black lesbian and my chick, and of course the black lesbian was so getting off on me getting dissed
so then, and i dont know how we got on this topic, but me and my chick started talking about if we would see each other again, and she said to me "we don't have chemistry"
and boys i swear, i am not lying, i started crying. right there in the bar, i was tearing up as this chick was dissing me. I was literally crying
but then, an amazing thing happened. when i started crying, she actually took my hand, and said "do you want to get another drink"! and she started saying things like "i have been in your position" and "we are on the same team" and stuff like that, which i guess means that she has gotten harshly dissed and embarrassed herself by crying too.
since the bartender wouldnt serve me, she actually tried to order two drinks for herself, to give one to me! and the bartender said "after all that!" and i could tell he was PISSED that all of a sudden the chick was acting like she liked me
so he pulled the super dick move and said "ok" but then made us sit there and never got us a drink. so the chick was like "he's being a dick lets go" so we left
it was raining i dont remember if i was still crying or not
i walked her to her house, i wasnt sure if i should try to kiss her but it was such a weird night that i didnt
she made a big deal out of "lets talk tomorrow" which was ridiculous in light of how bad she dissed me at first.
I was like "ok" but knew i wouldnt because of pride
but then 4 days later, she called me, and i decided that since i think shes so hot, and also since she told me on our date that sometimes when shes having sex she just has "orgasms for a hour straight" or something like that, i decided ok i will be friends with her on facebook
and when she called me, she said she wanted to stop off and hang out with me in costa rica in february when she comes to south america for a vacation. she was like "but we'd get separate rooms ok?" and i was like "sure, it will be like a 25% date" and then she said "35%"
so i friended her on facebook but havent emailed her or talked to her yet.
i still feel like i have my pride to think about, plus i know she goes on like 10 dates a week and thats maybe kind of nasty, i'm not sure
so thats where i am with this chick. any advice?
