my new song video

  • Start date
    • •
  • Replies 20 Comments
  • • Views 2,233 Views
Mudcat

Mudcat

yap
Since
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
32,603
Score
431
Tokens
0
This is my newest song, Chalk Outline Walking. If you can spare a few minutes to listen and give feedback I would appreciate it.

This is an unplugged solo version of a song I expect to put to more elaborate instrumentation down the road. I'm waiting for David Gilmore to come lay down some leads for me. He should be here any minute now.

I recorded this but then realized I might still make a significant change. But I'm just going to let it sit like this for now and work on something else and come back to it and see how I feel later. I'm curious if anyone else is going to zoom in on the same weak spot. Well I'm not sure if it is weak or not. As I say, feedback welcome.






CHALK OUTLINE WALKING

Turn down the volume on the mirror
Stop talking to me that way
Stop talking to me, looking with that look
Stop looking away

Chalk outline walking in the shadows of the town
Moon is rising, pressure’s rising – there’s a
Chalk outline walking in the tunnels underground
Silent rage, moonrise on



Don’t breath the air, don’t drink the water
You don’t know what that shit is made of
Don’t trust anyone says trust me
And talks about love, no

Chalk outline walking in the shadows of the town
Moon is rising, pressure’s rising – there’s a
Chalk outline walking in the tunnels underground
Silent rage, moonrise on



And I’m watching every sky
While lightning strikes and worlds collide
And I’m falling, falling
Ohhhh



There’s a chalk outline walking in the middle of a crowd
Pressure’s rising, levels rising – there’s a
Chalk outline walking, rage without a sound
Moonrise on, moonrise on
 
I like it a lot. Really cool lyrical concept. Strong vocals.
 
Nice work Muddy, that to me had a strong Neil Young feel to it, which is good.
 
I got some Neil Young at the beginning of the vocals especially. Sort of a Seals and Croft too, but maybe that's just me.
 
i like this

Don’t breath the air, don’t drink the water
You don’t know what that shit is made of
 
mikey likey. love the way the 2nd verse kicks in....

love the mudhawk also.:greencheck:
you should name your band MUDHAWK
 
You're a really good strummer Muddy, a nice piece no doubt

If I HAD to (I mean HAD to) critique something it would be the bridge (the "watching every sky" part)

But only because the verse/chorus is so strong

Well done :bravo:
 
I liked it, BUT.

Every-time I see you in a video I'm reminded that you have never participated in "fisting".

Some pro.
 
It's also slightly reminiscent of America....maybe Ventura Highway.

I hope it doesn't bother you when people tell you what they think you sound like or remind them of. It's the way my ear/brain works. And it certainly isn't meant to say you aren't unique, because you do have uniqueness to your sound.
 
Thanks everyone for the words of support. It means a lot.



Cougar Bait
You're a really good strummer Muddy, a nice piece no doubt

If I HAD to (I mean HAD to) critique something it would be the bridge (the "watching every sky" part)

But only because the verse/chorus is so strong

Well done :bravo:
Click to expand...



Excellent feedback, thanks. That's exactly what I was wondering about. I was trying to capture a feeling I got from a Leonard Cohen song where he talked about walking from sky to sky. It worked for him because there was more context but I am concerned that what I did just sounds like I just plugged in whatever because I needed 2 syllables. That line may very well change. Thanks again.
 
Jello
It's also slightly reminiscent of America....maybe Ventura Highway.

I hope it doesn't bother you when people tell you what they think you sound like or remind them of. It's the way my ear/brain works. And it certainly isn't meant to say you aren't unique, because you do have uniqueness to your sound.
Click to expand...


No, all feedback welcome. I am like a dry sponge ready to suck up everything.

Some of it surprises me a bit - I wouldn't have thought Neil Young for this song - but it is not unpleasant news at all. I can use that when thinking about instrumentation. America I totally get.

I had a small fear that I was being too derivative of something else but no one has mentioned it so I'm kind of glad. Like in one way I would be thrilled to be compared to the song I'm thinking of but I don't want to seem like I'm just ripping it off.
 
Wow Muddy you are so talented dude. I agree with the others on the Neil young feel actually now that I think about it's more of a CSNY feel for me. You have great rhythm, the vocals are totally there and the lyrics are very poetic and cool.

:bowdown:
 
The first thought when I heard it was Ventura Highway and then the first line (first line only) Neil Young. Something about the delivery, maybe just the initial introduction of your high pitch with an acoustic overlay registered Young in my mind. After that no more Neil Young for me, but definitely America.
 
A little off topic, what do you think of Eastman acoustic guitars? I played one the other day and it blew me away.

Then again I have been strumming on this Ibanez for almost 2 decades now.
 
DAT BOY CAN PLAY RIGHT DER DATS RIGHT DASS WHAT I SAID!

:clap: Very nice.
 
Cougar Bait
A little off topic, what do you think of Eastman acoustic guitars? I played one the other day and it blew me away.

Then again I have been strumming on this Ibanez for almost 2 decades now.
Click to expand...



Who me?

I am so out-of-the-loop for questions like that.

I see your 2 decades of always just playing the same guitar and raise you a decade.

It's kind of tragic.
 
mmike032
mikey likey. love the way the 2nd verse kicks in....

love the mudhawk also.:greencheck:
you should name your band MUDHAWK
Click to expand...


LOL! Yes, the hair. Now there's a topic. It definitely wants to be a mohawk. I've been fighting it but maybe I should just shave the head around the central strip and go with some rainbow colors and embrace the situation.
 
Mudcat
Who me?

I am so out-of-the-loop for questions like that.

I see your 2 decades of always just playing the same guitar and raise you a decade.

It's kind of tragic.
Click to expand...

Lummox, thats a "string bet".

:rotfl:

See what I did there?

Plommer = clever.
:betplom:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.