More thoughts on jobs and working


Toppus Doggus
I am extremely happy that my new workplace has so many people who seem so cool. It's unbelievable. The jokes and clever references are flying around constantly. There are at least a couple of musicians. I am instantly comfortable with pretty much everybody.

That is way beyond my wildest dream for that particular dimension. At my last 2 jobs, I didn't feel like I connected with anyone. I was certainly cordial with everyone - and there were a few people I would sometimes get into more friendly, personal topics - but I was not even close to being myself in all my bizarre randomness. I was really thinking something had changed about me in my ~10 years of working from home that I was just no longer capable of relating to people in a normal comfortable way.

Not that I was ever a social butterfly before being self-employed. I am difficult. But usually, with time, there were a couple or 3 in every company that I could relate to and have fun with.

Those last two jobs I felt so alone. Hopeless. You spend so much time at work, the days and weeks and years. The idea of going back into the conventional workforce, I was finding depressing much more than I let on. Profoundly. This social side of things was not the only reason for that, but it was a big part of it.

Who knows how things are going to go in the long run but I'll say this: after 4 days at the new job, I am WAY beyond where I ever got at that last job where I spent a year. It's amazing.

It's so important. I remember a workplace like that where I worked from like 1986-1991. Characters, laughter. Since then I have had over 60 jobs and I've never seen anything close to it. As much as I blame myself for some of that shit, a whole lot of places out there are just plain grim. Maybe I've finally found a real gem again.

If you're in a good situation with the people around you, try to appreciate it.



Toppus Doggus
I guess what it comes down to is I'm just racist as fok. This place, and the place I was fondly remembering from the 80's are/were both overwhelmingly white Canadian.

Fact is, I am the least racist person out there but when it comes down to actually relating to people, connecting deeply ---> I guess that shit matters.


Toppus Doggus
I don't know how Neil Young chat would go. It's a younger crowd. Most of the people immediately around me are half my age. As much as I am the old dude here at gamelive, probably even moreso there.

I mean I'm sure they would all have something to say but we wouldn't be comparing notes on our reaction to the Comes a Time album when it came out.

As I am thinking about it now, there might only be one person anywhere in the branch - office, sales and all - that is older than me.

Speaking of which I had a moment very appealing to my vanity the other day when I was signing the papers to get on payroll. Chicky-poo in HR asked my birth date and I told her. 1963. She did not believe she heard me right. Puzzled double-take. She wasn't trying to flatter me - she just couldn't believe I am the old coot that I really am.

I won't lie. That made me feel good.


Toppus Doggus

Now the other side of things of course is the tolerability of the actual job. This brings up a conundrum.

Is it better to have a fairly simple job that you can settle into quickly and not have to go on for ages being the dorky new guy who is constantly asking questions? After only a short time, you are walking into work knowing what you will be doing and feeling self-sufficient.

Or is it better to have quite a complicated job that, even after a few months, you will still not be completely independent and comfortable?

While I like my gratification as instant as the next guy, the answer for me has to be option 2. I prefer to be using my brain to address complex situations rather than something more mindless and repetitive.

And that's what I got. Tons of minute detail and shit to remember in what I'm doing. Looks like I will be the awkward newbie for some time to come.

But I will pay that price for the long-term betterment of mankind.