Aging

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reno cool
I wouldn't say healthier, but I can go with the happier and more peaceful.
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Sure. Looking at the bright side of a crappy situation.

All things being neutral, I have more peace and philosophical grounding. I am less burdened and irritated by impatience and pettiness and the bondage of self than in my younger days.

I personally am dubious about the word happier. My happiness is negatively effected by the people around me falling apart and in lingering pain and dying. Aging means everyone I love and care about is also aging. I am too sensitive to just shrug off the wretchedness I see - which is much greater than when I was younger - and just say, "everything is better than ever!"

Unless I've got some sweet, sweet smack

:muddy:
 
This kinda goes back to the question you raised before about having the chance to live your life over again.
Maybe to you life is more like the moment, where's to me it's more like building, getting over/past shit, developing a better sensibility.

I've considered myself a generally unhappy, angry person. Like i've been fighting the world. And then one day I realized I m kinda not that anymore.
Also not as much of a worrier. That's kinda big.

But yeah the big picture is depressing no matter how you look at it. Especially since I've started watching political videos on YouTube and got a better understanding of how power works. ....we live in a matrix man. :sparesomecutter:
 
reno cool
This kinda goes back to the question you raised before about having the chance to live your life over again.
Maybe to you life is more like the moment, where's to me it's more like building, getting over/past shit, developing a better sensibility.

I've considered myself a generally unhappy, angry person. Like i've been fighting the world. And then one day I realized I m kinda not that anymore.
Also not as much of a worrier. That's kinda big.

But yeah the big picture is depressing no matter how you look at it. Especially since I've started watching political videos on YouTube and got a better understanding of how power works. ....we live in a matrix man. :sparesomecutter:
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Those are the worst videos to watch.
 
It's probably not the kind of stuff you're thinking Fw. It is very complicated, especially for us who are basically products of pop culture.
 
Mudcat
All things being neutral, I have more peace and philosophical grounding. I am less burdened and irritated by impatience and pettiness and the bondage of self than in my younger days.


:muddy:
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Well said. Getting older is freeing in many ways. I no longer am afraid to leave the house without makeup.

I don't feel the need to have the biggest and best of everything, much more content in any ways -even in the Winter of Our Discontent.

Of course any regrets one has about lack of accomplishment or goals,are magnified as time goes by and a sense of urgency develops. Accomplish things early in life, so you don't live your mid and older years thinking about what you should have done, but feeling to old to do now.
 
My problem is I blew 2 opportunities. I was a full scholarship astrophysics student. So that could have led somewhere. I don't beat myself up over that one too much since I didn't ask for the addiction issues that pretty much trashed that. In fact I acted on those issues at a relatively young age so I should give myself credit. But whatever, here I am.

Also, when I was betting for a living I was having 6 figure years and on a steep upward trajectory earnings-wise. If I had been more aggressive, I could easily be set for life now. But here I am.



There is a temp girl working with me and she wore a University of Toronto shirt and it led to the conversation how she goes there now and I went there a hundred years ago.

My point to her being, "Okay and see how I am frequently unloading trucks on the forklift outside where it is 22 below and there is a wind tunnel effect that blows hard snow particles at you at high speed so not only is it freezing as hell, it's like you're getting sandblasted at the same time.

That's my life because I didn't graduate. So graduate.
 
I have instructed my loved ones to sell my body to the highest bidder regardless of the buyers intention or motivation. Do I hope the highest bidder will be a pharmaceutical company or institution of higher learning? Sure! Will I be happy if those parties are not interested and my loved ones manage to get $76 bucks from some creep who wants to rape my dead asshole. You bet!
 
I used to play a version of the song Time, by The Alan Parsons project on the piano.

One time, when I was still living with my parents and I was having a little piano session, it was the last song I played and I came downstairs and my mother was bawling. I was like, "What?"

It was my rendition of the song. It is actually a beautiful, easy listening, adult contemporary piece. But I guess I perform it like someone having their guts ripped out in a similar way to Mel Gibson at the end of Braveheart.
 
:clapper: love that song. I used to take that cassette tape: turn of a friendly card, and listen on my flights to Vegas. Only thing I would listen to on a plane. Still have the walkman with that tape in it. One of my all-time favorite albums.
 
If I do a second CD, and I allow myself one cover - as I borrowed a minute of Beethoven on the first one - I will do my being-disembowled version of Time.
 
That is one badass melody. My Dad loves that song.

I want to say I'll go into the studio and do a cover (because as much as so like the melody I really don't like the production) but I probably won't because I'm all grown up and have to much responsibility.

:sigh:
 
Yeah I'm curious to hear your version.

I used to find it very depressing, especially that line about" goodbye my friend. ..who knows if we'll meet again.

That's another thing I would say, I feel a bit less burdened with that melancholy nostalgia than I was a few years ago. Maybe I just went through that phase.
 
I don't know that I have a set version. I was prolly just freestyling while stoned and/or drinking. I think I would put a lot of emphasis on the "gone forevers." Wail 'em loud a few times - maybe an extra round than the actual song - then close out with a dying, plaintive round of gone forevers.

Them gone forevers ---> that must have been what got her.
 
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