The Atheist Bible

[FairWarning]

Yall are wiskey bent and hell bound

I am anyway. The rest, I can't account for.

 

[housepicks]

Say it aint so FW

 

[FairWarning]

Say it aint so FW

It's a mix of Gentleman's Jack, Jger and Greenbush Anger. It works, trust me.

 

[Cami]

I know some people pick up that I'm being "funny" but I suspect many don't.

Like when I use a sentence construction along the lines of, "So I was all like holy shit," I estimate that half the people know I'm making fun of people who actually speak like that and the other half think I really talk like that.

The issue is on forums or any other kind of typed interaction, is that when typing, and/or reading what someone wrote, it is very difficult to convey or perceive ones tone.

Blitty, I think it's obvious the go to phrase here would be: "I swear on my life/children"

What other phrases do you need re-worded for you?

 

[Blitty]

So do we all have to believe in evolution?

What are our other options?

 

[Blitty]

The issue is on forums or any other kind of typed interaction, is that when typing, and/or reading what someone wrote, it is very difficult to convey or perceive ones tone.

Blitty, I think it's obvious the go to phrase here would be: "I swear on my life/children"

What other phrases do you need re-worded for you?

I don't find the phrase 'I swear on my life' to be very powerful or practical for some reason..

I don't think I have ever said it before.

 

[bacon]

We live, pass, decompose and become part of the earth like every other species ever to exist. We're just such assholes we like to think we deserve more than the others. Enjoy your life. You're welcome.

 

[Matty]

We're just such assholes we like to think we deserve more than the others.

I pick +305 hockey winners pal. I'm pretty special.

 

[Mudcat]

We're just such assholes we like to think we deserve more than the others.

True, true.

 

[bacon]

our G who art in Philly
may leading the us to glory be thy name
thy will score game winners and thy will pass for them as well
and the CUP is what shall be held

 

[Blitty]

This guy should be our version of 'god'.

 

[bacon]

I could easily worship that dude

 

[IAG]

No comments from the peanut gallery please, but I am having a very difficult time chucking Bibles. There are a lot of Bibles in this house. How many do you need?

I can't bring myself to throw them away so I am giving them all to Goodwill...but I am sure they have more than they need also.

 

[Blitty]

Bible paper makes for some smooth smoking joint papers..

 

[IAG]

Bible paper makes for some smooth smoking joint papers..

:

 

[roguejuror]

No comments from the peanut gallery please, but I am having a very difficult time chucking Bibles. There are a lot of Bibles in this house. How many do you need?

I can't bring myself to throw them away so I am giving them all to Goodwill...but I am sure they have more than they need also.

ebay them

 

[IAG]

ebay them

 

[Mudcat]

So do we all have to believe in evolution?

What are our other options?

This presents quite a pickle for religions.

Many times religions have had to change their tune because of scientific progress. Like there are no prominent religions still claiming that the sun and planets revolve around the earth. Science proved otherwise so thoroughly that it got to the point where religions just looked too foolish to continue the status quo. So god changed his mind (and as for all the people that were tortured and killed over the issue ---> meh.)

But evolution is trickier. While geocentrism was more of an peripheral conclusion, divine creationism is central to all the mythologies. It's like the #1 thing. As foolish as religions look (to anyone educated) denying evolution, it would take some extreme weaseling to perform the necessary flip-flop to actually accept it and integrate it into a religion.

I mean, I'm sure they could do it but --> major pickle.