New Song - Side Of The Road

[Cougar Bait]

Roll away
With your age
Now your life is gone
In your sleep
I would seek
To say goodbye
Washed away
In your shadow
I would drink you down
All your life has passed away
And now it's coming out

Have I become what you wanted me to be
Or have I disappointed?

On the side of the road
Where I saw her face to face
Said son don't worry
I got it all in place

repeat

written for my mother

 

[Saulty]

Good luck on your plays gentlemen. :cheersbuddy:

 

[Saulty]

not sure why my post ended up here..it must be a forum malfunction.

 

[senco78]

I like it, your best yet

what did you use to record it?

 

[kato]

had a type-o negative feel at first, which i like

good retro shit

interesting tempo changes

 

[Cougar Bait]

I just bought a microphone with some software which is a simple version of pro tools

Glad you boys like it

 

[wal66]

Production quality stuff Coug's. I am blown away. I mean some vocal similarities with other stuff you have done but this is by far your best work.

 

[illmatick]

Not bad.

Marilyn Manson's version of Sweet dreams is what came to mind at the 50 second mark.

 

[stevek173]

Very cool shit Coug, dark. Your stuff seems to be getting deeper and deeper which is cool.

 

[wal66]

Coug's, Steve/'s inadvertently brings up a good point. This deep dark side, what are the odds of you walking into that warehouse armed with a semi-automatic one morning?

 

[Cougar Bait]

I don't work in a warehouse or own a gun, so it's unlikely

 

[wal66]

You send out packages don't you? Oversee rather but in any case I figured it was out of a warehouse.

Oh where art thou sense of humor?

 

[Cougar Bait]

I am too deep for humor

I would also like to go balls deep inside an Egyptian broad

I work in the aviation biz...you could eat lunch off the floor...not exactly a warehouse per say

 

[roguejuror]

sounds very professional

nice lyrics

 

[Cougar Bait]

Thanks Juror, I did try to get the lyrics just right, was going for a "haunting" kind of quality

 

[roguejuror]

Is your mom still alive?

 

[Tron]

Pound for pound your best track. Chorus has a nice hook.

It sounds like the vocals are doubled in the verses and if so I think it's a bit much because the chorus vocals are doubled as well.


Also, if you're going to have the chorus go on for as long as it does, you'll need to add additional lyrics. The chorus has a nice melody but repeating the same lyrics over and over gets a little tedious. Don't get me wrong, I like the chorus lyrics you have but it needs more
variation lyrically.

Experiment with some percussion on the chorus too. It will make it "bigger" sounding.

Cougar, your Momma will/would be proud.

 

[Cougar Bait]

Mom is still alive just thought about the idea of her being gone and 10 minutes later had this.

It still needs lots of work actually but I do think it has potential

Daft some solid criticism there, and I agree with it especially the chorus needing some lyric changes