CaliGirl's Match.com Escapades

Bay Bud
hmmm, wonder how my match.com profile might read...

intro: soon-to-be 57-year-old male from the texas hill country interested in as long-term relationship as the good lord will allow. your age not all that important but prefer a woman who has already gone through menopause because i sure don't want to put up with that shit again.

i like fishing, writing, light recreational gambling and gardening/yardwork. it doesn't really matter what you like because you will either like to do what i do or you'll be getting the fuck out.

for fun: i go to gruene hall and catch live music of all genres except bubblegum pop and that plastic country crap that comes out of nashville. also like to make my own beer and cook huge honkin' pots of soup, chili and stew. got a recipe for mulligatawny that will curl your toenails.

favorite hot spots: gruene hall, weren't you listening when i told you that the first time?! also prefer saltwater fishing over freshwater, but either is fine.

my favorite things: i believe i've already mentioned fishing, gambling and going to gruene hall. also enjoy seeing the sun come up in the morning, mowing great fields of grass, living amongst the critters, homegrown tomatoes, other homegrown things, old movies from the 30s-60s, sipping martini's and my lifelong quest for the best cheese enchiladas known to mankind. oh, and hats, i love all kinds of hats, it's my only wardrobe fetish. i'll spend $150-$250 on a nice hat if i want it but always go cheap on my levi 501's, shirts, shorts, etc.

last read: jack higgins - the judas gate, believe there are only three higgins novels i haven't read. only read about one novel a month during baseball season, 2-3 per month in the offseason. about to start an old w.p. kinsella hardback i've had laying around for a while titled box socials.

favorite movies: dr. strangelove, any old hitchcock, the thin man series, the sting and long gone, the greatest baseball comedy to ever appear on the big screen.

favorite foods: pretty much open to anything but yellow squash. i'm a cranky old man with a cranky old colon, so i don't get to eat a lot of my favorite foods any longer like tacos de lingua, fried okra and beef brisket. but i still enjoy all seafood, slow-cooked baby back pork ribs, migas, grilled cheese, creamed spinach and the green giant le sueur peas.

religion/politics: i'm the only member of my church and the only member of my political party. feel free to worship and vote as you wish, just don't expect me to follow. and don't bring any of those right-wing, born-again asshats to the house or as god is my witness, i'll moon 'em and they'll see my droopy old man balls.

general quirks: i wear socks with my jesus shoes, you may call them sandals. not the old rubber thong type, but your general sandal type footwear. it's not because i'm a goofy old man with no fashion sense, but because my feat sweat and the jesus shoes all end up stinking in two weeks if i don't wear socks.

i don't need an alarm clock to wake up in the mornings. i tell myself when i lay down the night before that i need to be up at 4:15, 5:05, whatever, and i wake up at that time. i haven't slept past 9:20 a.m. since 1994, and that was a night on the ale and getting in at 4:30.

if you want to know more, e-mail me at [email protected]. you can check out the photo on my facebook page, that's about two years ago with one of the short-bus cats i feed. only thing that has changed is i lost the mustache and goatee but kept a long patch of beard just below my lower lip. believe the kids these days call that a soul patch or a taint tickler, not sure.
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where has bay bud been?

fivey?

heat wave take him out?
 
Giving match.com a go again. Emailed a few guys last night. I also created an okcupid account. My dads trying to get me to sign up for one of those millionaire match maker services. I told him I'm not a call girl and he said, he would find me a legit service. fast forward 3 days and he sends me an email with like 12 dating sites for rich business men. And he said he would.pay for it. Is my dad trying to tell me something?
 
CaliGirlNJ
My dads trying to get me to sign up for one of those millionaire match maker services. I told him I'm not a call girl and he said, he would find me a legit service. fast forward 3 days and he sends me an email with like 12 dating sites for rich business men. And he said he would.pay for it. Is my dad trying to tell me something?
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Yeah, that you're a catch.

I think it's a good idea for you, and I would be interested to see what kind of people you meet from this, would be very interesting imo

:bread:
 
CaliGirlNJ
Giving match.com a go again. Emailed a few guys last night. I also created an okcupid account. My dads trying to get me to sign up for one of those millionaire match maker services. I told him I'm not a call girl and he said, he would find me a legit service. fast forward 3 days and he sends me an email with like 12 dating sites for rich business men. And he said he would.pay for it. Is my dad trying to tell me something?
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God. That's awful.
 
I'm going to try a social experiment so to speak. I'm.going to make my okcupid profile 100% honest. That I like to party etc. None of those cliches stupid lies ppl make on match. And see what reaults I get versus my actual ok cupid profile. Don't know how to have that profile with out a photo though....
 
CaliGirlNJ
Giving match.com a go again. Emailed a few guys last night. I also created an okcupid account. My dads trying to get me to sign up for one of those millionaire match maker services. I told him I'm not a call girl and he said, he would find me a legit service. fast forward 3 days and he sends me an email with like 12 dating sites for rich business men. And he said he would.pay for it. Is my dad trying to tell me something?
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:cono:
 
I'm still holding out hope that Jello and Cali can work things out and hook up in NYC.

I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic :dunno:
 
FYI I just meant the Millionaire site. The 12 sites thing is kind of funny, Daddy means well though he wants you to be happy is all.

I do agree that Jello and Cali seem like they could really hit it off.

Make it happen Jelloshot!
 
Bread
I'm still holding out hope that Jello and Cali can work things out and hook up in NYC.

I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic :dunno:
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THAT hook up was the best possible scenario.
 
Bread
I'm still holding out hope that Jello and Cali can work things out and hook up in NYC.

I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic :dunno:
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that is why they call you whiskers
 
YOU HESITATE YOU MASTURBATE JELLO!

GO GO GO GO!

GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

datass.gif
 
talked to dad on the phone tonight and asked him about it and he said he just wants me to be happy.
 
well that's good news
 
CaliGirlNJ
talked to dad on the phone tonight and asked him about it and he said he just wants me to be happy.
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Then maybe ask him to hook you up with some websites where you date guys who are into chocking out their girls? :dunno:

Can I get a DING?
 
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