Badnina
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Sorry...I had to copy the whole article. It's too funny!!! Who is ready for some football???????
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=htt...QArDEWbAQAxIhQo35K1HRPtD1tddDj0Fu5vFF3YSii6cg
South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew ends in late October, which is later than expected, but 2 months with Stephen Garcia is better than nothing.
Im 66 years old and I have no doubt in my mind that I am the best Quarterback on this campus.
I wont answer any more questions, but I am willing to pop my shirt off and pose until my time is up.
Florida Head Coach Will Muschamp:
Let me start by reassuring Gator Nation that Im nothing like Ron Zook.
With Jeff Demps you understand where the speed comes from when you meet his parents. Did you know his father was a racehorse and his mother was a meteorite? True story.
I cant possibly coach this team any worse than they were coached last year, so I got that going for me.
My boys love to burn, its true. You think Janoris Jenkins was the only player getting high on the reg? Ha! Forget Orange and Blue, this teams colors are Green with Red hairs.
Have you seen our schedule? Google it, Ill wait. We literally played 1 hard game a year at Texas. Now I have Alabama, LSU and Auburn all in row! Its no wonder Urbans heart exploded.
Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban:
After blowing a 24 point lead in the Iron Bowl I developed quite a nasty speed habit. Come Wednesday it will have been 7 months since I last slept.
I honestly could care less who our Quarterback is. I mean, did you actually watch Greg McElroy throw? When I recruit QBs I dont even watch film on them, I simply recruit guys who look like they could be the QB on Dawsons Creek. Does anybody know if the Guatemalan kid who plays the Werewolf in those Twilight films has any eligibility left?
Watching Auburn win a National Championship was surreal. It was like Kim Kardashian losing a beauty pageant to Khloe Kardashian.
I fully supported the Toomers Corner Tree killings. Al from Dadeville is an American Hero.
Yeah, some of our fans can go a little crazy sometimes. I know some of them think Im sending them secret messages during my press conferences. (Pauses for laughter) But theyre right, I totally am.
Georgia Head Coach Mark Richt
Opening statement to media: I bet you didnt expect to see me this year. Im going to coach til I die and Im going to live forever! (While C-Walking all around the stage)
I dont know if well beat Florida. I mean, we lost to the Weekend at Bernies version of Urban Meyer last season, so the thought a facing a coach with a pulse is a little scary.
Lets get serious. Any of you computer geeks know how to upload a rsum to LinkedIn?
Auburn Coach Gene Chizik
Ive been celebrating the title by driving up to the airport booing Auburn fans when they get off the plane.
Vegas has the O/U for wins this season at 6.5. Im betting my National Championship bonus on the under.
The main reason Im here today is to announce that Im open to new job offers. Nothing is too small. Ive got to get out before the NCAA comes through with a jackhammer and before those Eco-Terrorists in Tuscaloosa come after me and my family.
LSU Head Coach Les Miles
Guys, were talking about the Oregon game. Russell Shepard could get free rent in an Opium Den and I still wouldnt suspend him for the Oregon game.
Willie Lyle? Man, I love Willie Lyle. When it comes to Willie Lyle it turns out me and Brian Kelly are Eskimo Brothers!
Mississippi State Coach Dan Mullen
Do I have any regrets about last season? Yeah, about 180,000.
Arkansas Head Coach Bobby Petrino
Remember when I left the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of their most trying season? Didnt think so. Thank you Lane Kiffin, Cam Newton, Urban Meyers Heart. Without you and the rest of the crazy SEC, people would still remember what a dick I am.
Kentucky Head Coach Joker Phillips
Kentucky fans have told me that they would rather have a signed Tony Delk jersey than an SEC Championship in Football.
Ole Miss Head Coach Houston Nutt
If I get fired after this season will any of you even notice? Show of hands, how many of yall think I still coach at Arkansas?
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=htt...QArDEWbAQAxIhQo35K1HRPtD1tddDj0Fu5vFF3YSii6cg
South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier
Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew ends in late October, which is later than expected, but 2 months with Stephen Garcia is better than nothing.
Im 66 years old and I have no doubt in my mind that I am the best Quarterback on this campus.
I wont answer any more questions, but I am willing to pop my shirt off and pose until my time is up.
Florida Head Coach Will Muschamp:
Let me start by reassuring Gator Nation that Im nothing like Ron Zook.
With Jeff Demps you understand where the speed comes from when you meet his parents. Did you know his father was a racehorse and his mother was a meteorite? True story.
I cant possibly coach this team any worse than they were coached last year, so I got that going for me.
My boys love to burn, its true. You think Janoris Jenkins was the only player getting high on the reg? Ha! Forget Orange and Blue, this teams colors are Green with Red hairs.
Have you seen our schedule? Google it, Ill wait. We literally played 1 hard game a year at Texas. Now I have Alabama, LSU and Auburn all in row! Its no wonder Urbans heart exploded.
Alabama Head Coach Nick Saban:
After blowing a 24 point lead in the Iron Bowl I developed quite a nasty speed habit. Come Wednesday it will have been 7 months since I last slept.
I honestly could care less who our Quarterback is. I mean, did you actually watch Greg McElroy throw? When I recruit QBs I dont even watch film on them, I simply recruit guys who look like they could be the QB on Dawsons Creek. Does anybody know if the Guatemalan kid who plays the Werewolf in those Twilight films has any eligibility left?
Watching Auburn win a National Championship was surreal. It was like Kim Kardashian losing a beauty pageant to Khloe Kardashian.
I fully supported the Toomers Corner Tree killings. Al from Dadeville is an American Hero.
Yeah, some of our fans can go a little crazy sometimes. I know some of them think Im sending them secret messages during my press conferences. (Pauses for laughter) But theyre right, I totally am.
Georgia Head Coach Mark Richt
Opening statement to media: I bet you didnt expect to see me this year. Im going to coach til I die and Im going to live forever! (While C-Walking all around the stage)
I dont know if well beat Florida. I mean, we lost to the Weekend at Bernies version of Urban Meyer last season, so the thought a facing a coach with a pulse is a little scary.
Lets get serious. Any of you computer geeks know how to upload a rsum to LinkedIn?
Auburn Coach Gene Chizik
Ive been celebrating the title by driving up to the airport booing Auburn fans when they get off the plane.
Vegas has the O/U for wins this season at 6.5. Im betting my National Championship bonus on the under.
The main reason Im here today is to announce that Im open to new job offers. Nothing is too small. Ive got to get out before the NCAA comes through with a jackhammer and before those Eco-Terrorists in Tuscaloosa come after me and my family.
LSU Head Coach Les Miles
Guys, were talking about the Oregon game. Russell Shepard could get free rent in an Opium Den and I still wouldnt suspend him for the Oregon game.
Willie Lyle? Man, I love Willie Lyle. When it comes to Willie Lyle it turns out me and Brian Kelly are Eskimo Brothers!
Mississippi State Coach Dan Mullen
Do I have any regrets about last season? Yeah, about 180,000.
Arkansas Head Coach Bobby Petrino
Remember when I left the Atlanta Falcons in the middle of their most trying season? Didnt think so. Thank you Lane Kiffin, Cam Newton, Urban Meyers Heart. Without you and the rest of the crazy SEC, people would still remember what a dick I am.
Kentucky Head Coach Joker Phillips
Kentucky fans have told me that they would rather have a signed Tony Delk jersey than an SEC Championship in Football.
Ole Miss Head Coach Houston Nutt
If I get fired after this season will any of you even notice? Show of hands, how many of yall think I still coach at Arkansas?
