"We can't show you the video because the man was naked and covered in Jell-o"

mrquincy

Generally Specific
Since
Feb 24, 2011
Messages
4,673
Great. Thanks a lot for that fiveteamer. Now I am craving a hamburger.
 

Mudcat

yap
Since
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
32,603
When I heard the cow was dead I thought, 'What? Do humans kill animals when stuff like that happens? The same way we kill a bear when a bear kills a person?' Like a human stupidly gets too close to a wild hungry bear - and the bear goes ahead and eats the stupid person - and then we kill the bear because the bear was supposed to know how special humans are. Destroy, is the preferred euphemism.

Do we also do that to cows who were just minding their own business and get cruelly violated?

That really crossed my mind, that maybe people would destroy a cow in that situation because it has proven too alluring to idiotic humans.

I have kind of a low opinion of the human race sometimes.

But anyways no, the cow ran out into the highway. Which in turn leads to thoughts about whether the cow acted in a fit of misplaced shame after the ordeal. "It's not your fault cow! You did nothing wrong!" If only she could have given it some time she would have seen; she would have felt better again.

It of course is very doubtful that the cow was thinking that. But it's just that cows are not known for sprinting here and there. Cows are usually just a little more mobile than the pyramids of Egypt. You would think that by the time a cow made it to the edge of a highway, hundreds of people would have spotted and reported it and preventative measures would have been taken. It is quite an image, a cow charging into the lanes. Seems like an act of bovine passion.

Tragi-comic stuff all around.
 

Cami

Queen Bee
Since
Dec 27, 2011
Messages
13,886
"man caught having sex with a cow."

he RAPED that poor cow. raped it. what.the.fuck.
 

fiveteamer

#nonewfriends
Since
Jan 27, 2010
Messages
9,558
To me, the Jell-o is what really takes this story to another level.

Like I get that bestiality is a thing, and that people would even want to film it. But the Jell-o? Why cover yourself in Jell-o before having your buddy film yourself fucking a cow.
 

IAG

R.E.M. enthusiast
Since
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
12,532
I was POSITIVE this was created/fake. Saw it somewhere else and verified. Unbelievable. Every time I think people can no longer shock me. ...