CASPERWAIT$
Drama Moobs Your Mom
- Since
- Aug 3, 2010
- Messages
- 14,716
- Score
- 3,644
- Tokens
- 0
No, I’m not including dating sites in this list.
To be honest, that may be one of the worst places to meet a woman. Every person a potential Dateline episode.
10. Grocery Store: Tale as old as time. Woman in yoga pants fondling produce as you slow roll by, cart in tow. You didn’t have melons on your shopping list, yet here you are. Striking up a conversation at a grocery store isn’t difficult and you can find a common bond rather easily. Bonus points if you have a mutual love of coupons.
9. Gun Range: Okay, guns and women might seem like a bad introduction but let’s be honest. If she is shooting alone, she’s either bad ass or just got out of a long term relationship. Seeking comfort through gun knowledge is a good sign she’s newly single and/or alone in life. Bonus Points if she hits the target and smiles afterwards.
8. Movie Theater: She’s alone waiting in line at the confession stand. It’s a showing of the new Wes Anderson flick and she still orders the old school go to of small popcorn, Diet Coke and Sno-Caps. You brought in your 4 nips of bourbon, so the large Coke you’re grabbing is more for function. Chat her up just enough that as you walk into the theatre, she subtly ends up sitting next to you. By the time the movie makes sense, you’ll have been on your 4th date. Bonus Points if it’s a Tuesday matinee and she’s a Fandango member.
7. Nail Salon: Shooting fish in a barrel on this one. The ratio of men to women is usually 7-1 and they will do enough yapping that they will open up an opportunity to interject. Bonus Points if she isn’t staring at her phone during the mani/pedi and she’s not going “Death Black” as her color choice
6. Casino: Woman alone at a casino should bring up a shit ton of red flags but let’s be honest. She’s a risk taker. You looking for a one night stand, this is where you meet them. Bonus Points if she plays Baccarat and she has purple chips in front of her
5. Fund Raiser Event: She has time on her hands and she’s passionate about something. Why not become her new “cause”. Bonus Points if it’s a fund raiser for displaced animals. Negative Points if it’s anything political.
4. Airport: Stewardesses are a dime a dozen and the passengers are sometimes looking for that random rendezvous. If she’s at the airport bar and she isn’t scoffing at the $18 Samuel Adams, you have a pro here. Go in gently and ask where she’s flying to. Bonus Points if she’s going to where you are going.
3. Doctors Office: She’s flipping through a 3 year old issue of People magazine and she doesn’t look jaundice. You’re there for a quick check up. You mention that you know who the Jon Benet Ramsey killer really is. She’s intrigued and bam, her blood pressure raises slightly at the possibility that you’ll give her that physical she really wants. Bonus Points if she’s wearing a cast or a neck brace. This signifies short term issues. We like short term issues.
2, Sporting Event: Okay I know what you’re thinking. “Girls don’t go alone to sporting events numb nuts.” This is true, but if they have children in tow, and no man around, odds are she’s single or separated. No better time to mansplain then at a Celtics game. Bonus Points if she’s NOT wearing a team jersey. We don’t need the woman all up on Jason Tatum. He’s got enough in life already.
1. Church: She’s praying alone. Seeking out guidance from above. You saunter by her pew and get a faint smell of White Diamonds and brownie batter. You know where she will be pretty much every Sunday. Why not build a rapport? Bonus Points if she’s brought her own Bible. Church girls are closet freaks.
There ya go. Now hunt wisely and god speed.
To be honest, that may be one of the worst places to meet a woman. Every person a potential Dateline episode.
10. Grocery Store: Tale as old as time. Woman in yoga pants fondling produce as you slow roll by, cart in tow. You didn’t have melons on your shopping list, yet here you are. Striking up a conversation at a grocery store isn’t difficult and you can find a common bond rather easily. Bonus points if you have a mutual love of coupons.
9. Gun Range: Okay, guns and women might seem like a bad introduction but let’s be honest. If she is shooting alone, she’s either bad ass or just got out of a long term relationship. Seeking comfort through gun knowledge is a good sign she’s newly single and/or alone in life. Bonus Points if she hits the target and smiles afterwards.
8. Movie Theater: She’s alone waiting in line at the confession stand. It’s a showing of the new Wes Anderson flick and she still orders the old school go to of small popcorn, Diet Coke and Sno-Caps. You brought in your 4 nips of bourbon, so the large Coke you’re grabbing is more for function. Chat her up just enough that as you walk into the theatre, she subtly ends up sitting next to you. By the time the movie makes sense, you’ll have been on your 4th date. Bonus Points if it’s a Tuesday matinee and she’s a Fandango member.
7. Nail Salon: Shooting fish in a barrel on this one. The ratio of men to women is usually 7-1 and they will do enough yapping that they will open up an opportunity to interject. Bonus Points if she isn’t staring at her phone during the mani/pedi and she’s not going “Death Black” as her color choice
6. Casino: Woman alone at a casino should bring up a shit ton of red flags but let’s be honest. She’s a risk taker. You looking for a one night stand, this is where you meet them. Bonus Points if she plays Baccarat and she has purple chips in front of her
5. Fund Raiser Event: She has time on her hands and she’s passionate about something. Why not become her new “cause”. Bonus Points if it’s a fund raiser for displaced animals. Negative Points if it’s anything political.
4. Airport: Stewardesses are a dime a dozen and the passengers are sometimes looking for that random rendezvous. If she’s at the airport bar and she isn’t scoffing at the $18 Samuel Adams, you have a pro here. Go in gently and ask where she’s flying to. Bonus Points if she’s going to where you are going.
3. Doctors Office: She’s flipping through a 3 year old issue of People magazine and she doesn’t look jaundice. You’re there for a quick check up. You mention that you know who the Jon Benet Ramsey killer really is. She’s intrigued and bam, her blood pressure raises slightly at the possibility that you’ll give her that physical she really wants. Bonus Points if she’s wearing a cast or a neck brace. This signifies short term issues. We like short term issues.
2, Sporting Event: Okay I know what you’re thinking. “Girls don’t go alone to sporting events numb nuts.” This is true, but if they have children in tow, and no man around, odds are she’s single or separated. No better time to mansplain then at a Celtics game. Bonus Points if she’s NOT wearing a team jersey. We don’t need the woman all up on Jason Tatum. He’s got enough in life already.
1. Church: She’s praying alone. Seeking out guidance from above. You saunter by her pew and get a faint smell of White Diamonds and brownie batter. You know where she will be pretty much every Sunday. Why not build a rapport? Bonus Points if she’s brought her own Bible. Church girls are closet freaks.
There ya go. Now hunt wisely and god speed.
well done Caspa
