2013 NHL Playoffs Thread

[gregm]

I saw sherwood on San jose even before Schneider news, sharks playing great to end the season. 3-0 against vancouver all year. fuck it, after that blackhawks game last night, and playoff hockey and defense going to take a punt on some unders. Unders and overtimes worth a shot tonight.

ready to eat pizza and lose money. the incompetence of pizza delivery. ordered an hour ago.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/everyone-involved-in-pizzas-preparation-delivery-p,504/


Everyone Involved In Pizza's Preparation, Delivery, Purchase Extremely High


AUSTIN, TX

Everyone involved in the preparation, delivery, purchase and consumption of a pizza from Tony's New York-Style Pizzeria was thoroughly baked off his ass, it was reported Monday.

"From its creation at the hands of a stoned-out-of-his-mind pizzeria employee to its eventual consumption by a group of guys so unbelievably high they didn't even realize they had mistakenly given the delivery driver a $20 tip, this pizza spent its entire existence in a dense cloud of marijuana fumes," said pizza-industry watchdog Roger Dernier, who has been monitoring the link between pizza production and illegal drug use since 1991.

"In the brief time this pizza spent on Earth, at no point did it come into contact with a single non-stoned human being."

The pizza entered the next phase of its THC-soaked existence when pizzeria employee Wayne "Mr. Moondog" Lindeman, a technical-college dropout and noted Austin-area bongo drummer, took the phone order from the two largely incapacitated customers.

"It took me a while to figure out what they wanted," Lindeman said. "When I was listing off the toppings we've got, they kept asking if they could get, like, Fritos or sandwiches on the pizza. Plus, there were a ton of calls on hold, and I was getting pretty stressed trying to get their order and move on to the next caller.

San jose +.5 regulation
Islanders +.5 regulation
Toronto +.5 regulation

Tor/Bos goes to overtime
San/Van goes to overtime
Nyi/Pit goes to overtime

unders across the board

Just ordered dominos and watching the pizza tracker. Pete the pizza maker. They even have a dj now playing music on the pizza tracker after you order from dominos. Pete the pizza maker is alright

""Not surprisingly, there were still several detours and delays standing between the pizza and its final destination," Dernier said. "For one, Behr went to the wrong address at least four times. Also, Bickell and Wang had forgotten to include their apartment number with the order. Furthermore, Behr ran out of gas about 10 minutes into the trip and had to walk to a nearby station with a gas can to get more."

"Matters were further complicated by the five phone calls Bickell and Wang made to the pizzeria to inquire about the status of their pizza. "

 

[Blitty]

Islanders in 5.

 

[Matty]

weeeeee

 

[gregm]

St Louis
Montreal
unders across the board

this sums up my 20s and 30's

http://www.theonion.com/articles/havingonebeer-plan-goes-awry,1335/

Having-One-Beer Plan Goes Awry

Flemming (left) shares "one quick beer" with his friend Galveston.

YPSILANTI, MI—Due to outside influence and unforeseen events, the having-one-beer plan that 29-year-old Keith Flemming devised at the outset of Monday evening went awry.

"This is a one-beer night," Flemming told his friend Sam Galveston as the two approached their usual booth at Fitzgerald's Tavern. "I wanna be in bed early, so I have time for a quick drink and some laughs, but that's it. I'm not going on a tear or anything."

Flemming, a sales representative for a boutique food packager, ordered a round of Bud Lights at 7:30 p.m. As the two friends drank their beers and discussed their summer-vacation plans, Flemming was well-positioned to meet his goal of being in bed by 10 p.m.

Shortly before requesting the check, however, Flemming briefly placed Galveston in charge of the itinerary.

"I gotta take a leak," Flemming said. "You know what they say about beer: You don't buy it, you rent it."

While Flemming was in the restroom, Galveston ordered a second round for the pair, thus causing Flemming's plan for the evening to go slightly askew.

"Well, I can't let this to go to waste," said Flemming, holding the beer up and chuckling. "After this, though, I have to get out of here. I gotta be up at 6 in the morning. Big day. Inventory."

Had events not conspired against him, Flemming could well have finished his second beer and still arrived home before 9 p.m. His plan was thwarted, however, when Gary Greely, a longtime acquaintance of Flemming and Galveston, approached the booth.

"Gary! Long time no see," Flemming said. "I gotta take off soon, but let me get you a beer first. We got some catching up to do."

Flemming finishes "one last beer" before leaving the bar.

Two hours and an unforeseen buyback later, the early-to-bed plan Flemming had established at the beginning of the evening was in serious jeopardy.

Flemming purchased "one last round" for the table at 10:35 p.m., but in order to get home for his revised bedtime of 11 p.m., Flemming drank the beer in 10 minutes—an act that caused further wavering in his resolve to leave the bar.

"Guys, I really should get going, I guess," said Flemming, slurring his words. "I really should probably... I got something I gotta do tomorrow, something at work early."

Flemming stood and began to gather his belongings and say goodbye to his friends. Greely, however, began to chant "shots," and the plan for the evening went off-track again.

"No Jaeger, though, man," said Flemming, returning to his seat. "Last time I drank Jaeger, I was hung over for days. No way."

"All right, but if I puke, you're cleaning it up!" Flemming added.

The three finally said their goodbyes and parted at 2:00 a.m., whereupon Flemming completed his evening in a manner wholly unanticipated—by vomiting, drinking several glasses of water, and falling asleep fully clothed on top of his covers.

"I only went to work today because I couldn't miss inventory," Flemming said Tuesday morning. "I don't even remember getting home last night. I know I didn't drive, because my car wasn't around this morning. I guess I took a cab. Christ. Honestly, that's the last time I do that. Next time, I'll go to the bar and hang out, but I'll just have a soda."

 

[mrquincy]

I don't imagine the Habs will try to pass to any of their players in the centre of the ice below their own blue line tonight. I agree with Paul McLean. The only head contact I saw was Eller's head contacting the ice.

I hope the disciplinary committee see's it the same way... I feel badly for the player, but i don't think the hit was that bad

 

[reno cool]

we don't really care what that bug eyed fat walrus had to say

 

[Matty]

Yeah fok that blabbering cunt.

 

[tullamore]

great comment by prust.

But what the hell is he diving for, those french canadiens must teach that shit

We need to take a way time and space, get sticks in passing lanes, and dive when check. Is that the fucking pre game talk.