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Archie

Archie

SP Nation and I Ruin things
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Jan 27, 2010
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not sure if we'd had one yet.

Justin with a funny 7 have you ever dealt with a snake bite emergency?

have you ever put severed body parts in a container of ice or carry one into the hospital?

do all dead people poop themselves?

was there ever a time where someone got hurt in a way that was so funny, that even though they were in pain at the time...

you just HAD to laugh?
 
Archie
not sure if we'd had one yet.

Justin with a funny 7 have you ever dealt with a snake bite emergency?
yes maybe 3 or 4 only once did the person wait around in the same spot where we could see the snake too. definitely was a copperhead

have you ever put severed body parts in a container of ice or carry one into the hospital?
once just a finger some random big dog bit off when a jogger crossed into his clearly defined part of the sidewalk
do all dead people poop themselves?
not even close to all. some do. don't know the exact percentages but i would say most do not i would put it at around 95%
was there ever a time where someone got hurt in a way that was so funny, that even though they were in pain at the time...

you just HAD to laugh?
we laugh at people all the time... i dont have the crazy sex stories that some of my co-workers have that involve gay men and hampsters...my favorite involved a guy who was comitting an armed robbery of a house. the guy had busted into the home and tied up the family when daddy arrived home and knew something was wrong. most people would call 9-1-1 but he came inside his house and confronted the situation with a tire iron and beat the fucking dog shit out of this armed man who was there to jack some cash. i had a hard time being compassionate and taking the guy seriously he was such a whiney ass bitch. im sure i have better stories but i cannot really think of any at the time. stuff kinda runs together
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:):)
 
Archie
you ever get a boner during a call?

like a super hot model chick, accidently burned her ear off with a curling iron and you got there and she was in thong and bra?
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oh yea we have seen some hot asssss chicks and needed to check their hearts out "just to be sure cuz it you never know and it doesn't hurt anything". both old and young. the 18 year old girls have a way of getting super wasted on fri sat night and someone will call 9-1-1. the i remember best was passed out on a party bus. she was in a short short skirt and she was a 9.8/10. 18 from california at TCU. we could not wake her up so we had to drag her off the bus. most people would want the leg so they could stare up the dress while getting her out. with a nice set of tits ill take the torso cuz the best way to grab her involved my hands on her boobs. sorry

there was a 35ish chick last week with a great rack on her who had a seizure in the shower and her husband called and we arrived first and cancelled fire. she was still totally naked and we did no mind one bit.
 
Archie
was there ever a time where someone got hurt in a way that was so funny, that even though they were in pain at the time...

you just HAD to laugh?
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Not 7Justin, but my dad told me a story once about a guy in the ER. Married college professor who was a banging a student. They were using like a 12 inch dildo. She was shoving it up his ass while he was on top of her. I guess he liked it deep because she pushed it in a little too far on one stroke and his asshole lips said "NOM NOM NOM NOM" to that dildo.

So he comes in the ER with a dildo stuck in his ass and the tip of it poking a visible lump in abdomen. Dad kept a copy of the Xray. It's pretty hilarious. I wonder if he still has it....would make a great avatar.

Anyway, the last part of the story was pretty good too. Turns out they had to call in a surgeon to get this thing out. And guess who the next of kin for the professor is? His wife, of course. So she gets called in to sign the forms and shit while he's laying there with a dildo about to pop out of his gut.
 
:10: jello awesome story.

i heard one that sounded like a porn scene once. mid to late 40s chick called 9-1-1 c/o chest pain and when they got there she said she really just needed a good fucking that she has not been fucked in a while and wants it NOW.
 
l7ustin
i was worried this would happen when i saw kids in fukked up situations but honestly with the exception of one time all my serious calls have been on adults. i ran one full arrest on a newborn but other than that no serious kid stuff
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Yeah me too


Other than a few really nasty child neglect calls (where the kids were living in absolute squalor but there was no physical abuse), the time we pulled a 7 year old out of a lake and he died at the hospital and the bad car wreck with the two teenagers, I have been spared seeing any really bad stuff happen to kids.
 
Jello
Justin please don't leave us hanging here. Did she get a good fucking or no?
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lol if he did it was not done right then and he did not tell us about it. on a few occassions with hot chicks you get their phone number and then text and check on them the next day or when you get off. we had this 22 y/o chick who worked a bar and passed out. she would wake up and talk to us then fall asleep like a narcaleptic spelling?? anyways she was insisting she didnt want to go to the hospital. and she was hot and we liked our spot in the city so we were inclined to let her stay but we told her she needed to call someone to pick her up. + when possible i try to help ppl out and not nail them with a 1000$ ambulance ride. anyways she kept falling asleep before she could call someone so finally we called someone using her phone and explained the situation and she woke up long enough to ask them for a ride. well when she hung up she dropped the phone and when i picked it up there was a text that said something like i want to fuck you on the table again tonight. not from the guy she had called. so we asked her when she woke up if she had called her husband or boyfriend and where he was coming from. cuz she kept calling him baby when she talked to him. she told us her husband was in iraq and that her good friend was coming to pick her up. then she fell asleep again and got another text that said. we chillin tonight? from another different guy. we decided to go through her pictures and found some awesome nude self shots. at any rate I definitely texted her the next day to see how she was doing ;). i missed out on the hoe train though turns out her husband was coming home like in 4 days. we texted until then when her phone mysteriously was turned off from serivce
 
Rusty,

what is it like working on a full moon, or friday the 13th, halloween, st. patrick's day, super bowl sunday, secretary's day????

are there any other especially weird and busy days of the year that seem to happen all the time?
 
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