Guru can I join you in this forum?

Enigma

The one and only Guru
hi cami! whats good?

earlier this week I killed a hugh stinkbug on my wall. Left a smear. They're those nasty gooey bugs with tons of legs
 

Enigma

The one and only Guru
saw this on pepper vagina canadian site

Poll results

Who would you rather see in a porn?

Rob Ford 5%
Justin Trudeau 11%
David Suzuki 4%
Stephen Harper 3%
Tom Mulcair 1%
None of the above! 76%

Total votes : 2690

Past CNEWS poll results
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Burning question

Who would you rather see in a porn?

Rob Ford
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David Suzuki
Stephen Harper
Tom Mulcair
None of the above!

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Enigma

The one and only Guru
4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the ceiling up there.
7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
9. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you now how fast you were going? You should know asshole you pulled me over!

still good

RIP Jeff Healey though
 

Enigma

The one and only Guru
4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake you can't eat?
5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theater and stare at the ceiling up there.
7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!
8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
9. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you now how fast you were going? You should know asshole you pulled me over!
If you spin an Asian around, do they become disoriented?




I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.



Be careful, there is a group of mimes attacking people out there. They are doing unspeakable things.



Did you hear the one about the cross eyed teacher?


She couldn't control her pupils.



Where do you drown a hipster?



in the mainstream.


If life gives you melons, you probably have dyslexia​
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
I forgot how to throw a boomerang. Then it came back to me.
At first I didn't like having a beard. Then it grew on me.
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?



You look for the fresh prints.
 
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