betplom
*plommer*
- Since
- Jan 27, 2010
- Messages
- 29,157
- Score
- 1,657
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Two five year old boys are standing at the potty waiting to pee.
One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
"I've been circumcised." the other boy replied.
"What's that mean?" asked the first boy.
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off then?"
"My mum said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?"
"You bet it hurt. I couldn't walk for a year!"
Why did God give men penises?
So we would have at least one way to shut a woman up!
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blow job: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee, when the toilet seat falls down on his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mum comes running into the room wondering what's going on.
He tells his mother, "Mummy, the toilet seat fell on top my penis. Kiss it better!"
"Johnny," said his mother, "Your getting more and more like your father every day!"
What's the toughest part of a man's body?
His cock. Because it can stand up to any cunt!
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick?
Nothing. They all make women's eyes water!
A yuppie walked into a doctors surgery and demanded the quack look at his dick.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" the doc asked.
"I'll show you." said the yuppie. He dropped his trousers. His dick was the size of a jellybean, and the doctor couldn't help laughing.
"It's nothing to laugh at," replied the yuppie, "It's been swollen like that for the last three days!"
A black guy walks into a bar and says, "I have a twelve inch cock, and I like to fuck white women with it."
A drunk at the other end of the bar shouts, "Hey, I wouldn't want to fuck black women with it either!"
A handsome young man who is wealthy and successful with the ladies was turning thirty years old and decided to relax and stop fooling around and settle down and get married.
But he decides that his wife just has to be a virgin. So he dates numerous girls and after wining and dining them he takes them home and exposes himself. "What is this?" he would ask each girl, pointing to his penis. They would all look bewildered and say, "Ummm, a dick!" and disappointed, he would take them home.
After a few months of trying he met a shy librarian named Ann, he took her out, the same routine, shows himself and says, "What's this?".
Ann replied, "I don't know."
Ecstatic, he marries her and on their honeymoon night he takes her hand and placing it on his dick says, "Now dear, this is a dick!"
"Oh no honey," says Ann, "A dick is much bigger than that, and black!"
One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"
"I've been circumcised." the other boy replied.
"What's that mean?" asked the first boy.
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off then?"
"My mum said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?"
"You bet it hurt. I couldn't walk for a year!"
Why did God give men penises?
So we would have at least one way to shut a woman up!
Q.) What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
A.) Blow job: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.
Q.) What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
A.) You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!
Q.) Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A.) "Is it in?"
Q.) How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
A.) One of his fingers is clean.
Little Johnny is in the bathroom taking a pee, when the toilet seat falls down on his penis. He starts screaming and crying. His mum comes running into the room wondering what's going on.
He tells his mother, "Mummy, the toilet seat fell on top my penis. Kiss it better!"
"Johnny," said his mother, "Your getting more and more like your father every day!"
What's the toughest part of a man's body?
His cock. Because it can stand up to any cunt!
What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 14 inch dick?
Nothing. They all make women's eyes water!
A yuppie walked into a doctors surgery and demanded the quack look at his dick.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" the doc asked.
"I'll show you." said the yuppie. He dropped his trousers. His dick was the size of a jellybean, and the doctor couldn't help laughing.
"It's nothing to laugh at," replied the yuppie, "It's been swollen like that for the last three days!"
A black guy walks into a bar and says, "I have a twelve inch cock, and I like to fuck white women with it."
A drunk at the other end of the bar shouts, "Hey, I wouldn't want to fuck black women with it either!"
A handsome young man who is wealthy and successful with the ladies was turning thirty years old and decided to relax and stop fooling around and settle down and get married.
But he decides that his wife just has to be a virgin. So he dates numerous girls and after wining and dining them he takes them home and exposes himself. "What is this?" he would ask each girl, pointing to his penis. They would all look bewildered and say, "Ummm, a dick!" and disappointed, he would take them home.
After a few months of trying he met a shy librarian named Ann, he took her out, the same routine, shows himself and says, "What's this?".
Ann replied, "I don't know."
Ecstatic, he marries her and on their honeymoon night he takes her hand and placing it on his dick says, "Now dear, this is a dick!"
"Oh no honey," says Ann, "A dick is much bigger than that, and black!"
