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How did this not come across my Twitter TL?!

I eat chicken 6 days a week. Fucking Wade Boggs diet. Also eat peanut butter. A jar a week. Water and coffee (with the occasional Guinness) is all my body drinks. Since I’m waiting another 6 weeks for sex, I haven’t eaten pussy in awhile. That’s a shame

I love it just for the triggering it’s causing to people that look like they haven’t worn jeans without elastics since puberty

Finally got down under 200. Trying to get to 194. At 199 today. That’s 75 pounds down since Feb 2024. I recently received extra motivation to go to the local Planet Fitness. I walked in two weeks ago and my favorite Dunkin Donuts cashier walks up to me. I didn’t even recognize her without her...

No! We talked about quantum physics and other lighthearted topics lol

No. I called him on the phone today

Catching up with @Blitty reminded me I need you fuckers

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Yo

Why do I think he never eats this in real life

Steve I’m happy you won’t play that game. Good for you pal.

This is a progressive case of Who dunnit?

Good luck @Vegas Dave . Actually forget that. I heap upon you extraordinary luck. Good luck is for amateurs. You’re past the “good” echelon at this point. Now go win some money.

I’ll get on it asap

Makes sense. Considering that people have stopped taking their asses out to get stuff, they should be taxed. Unless you have a disability or elderly

I believe in common core math I’m uncommon therefore I’m always worth it

@Boner_18 yeah this individual situation is not what I would sue for. I’d sue over false representation involving their incentive and status levels. I’d also sue for their lack of for due diligence in eradicating customers that have a proven track record of being problematic and or dangerous.

I’ll have to ask your mom

This guy placed two prank orders and I drove to pick them up. Evidently he did this to two other drivers before me with the same order. I call him to ask him to cancel it. He proceeds to ask me if I would like to join a cult and do drugs Anyway long story short, Uber Eats customer service not...

Today is my last day driving Uber Eats It is beyond awful with customer service. Today, this interaction with a prank order takes the cake. Yeah, I’m done