durito

Since accidental blog 1 was so popular, let's try again. Sorry no shanty, that will surely eliminate all interest.

The topic of Blog 2 will be suegra Gloria. My "mother in law" ie Emily's grandmother (she can't really be my mother in law if we aren't married right?)

Suegra Gloria has never once stopped talking. Even when the room is empty she keeps talking. Suegra Gloria has no job, no money, and no prospects for either. Suegra Gloria has a 22 year boy friend who is nearly as worthless. He calls the house lots though. Durito does not like phone calls.

Suegra Gloria is teaching Madeleyne everything about how to take care of Emily. Such as her legs are too spread out so she needs to tie them together daily for a few hours. Ah, no says durito you will not be doing that anymore. Ok, they agree, but if she walks funny it is my fault. (I suspect such crap is going on when i am not there, which is always since i'd go insane if i was there more).

Suegra Gloria is taking care of Madeleyne during her dieta. A dieta is the month + 10 days after having a baby where apparently Colombians transform into some other form of life that require special care. During this time, air could kill her. So not fans, no AC in my car, etc. I love driving dripping in sweat. During this time rain can also kill her. Also she required a specific diet that her mother must make.

Durito has eaten everywhere and likes all food even Colombian food. However, suegra Gloria might make the worst food ever made. Ok, perhaps it's not that bad. Ignoring the two food poisoning fish episodes from long ago before all she really makes is soup, rice, and some beef. Oh and other stuff. Like once I made for them Spaghetti with meat sauce. They remarkably liked it, and asked how to make it. I told them, and bought them a can of tomato sauce. Not sure what happened to the can, but one day I am offered the "pasta I make". Ignoring the mysterious meat that is not ground beef, the tomato sauce appears to be a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise. Lol. This of course, is many months after they've become aware of what I think of her food.

The best part is that Madelyne loves to go out to nice restaurants and order completely non Colombian things: oysters, sushi, real food, etc. Yet get home, and all she wants is la comida de MAMA.

Ok, more later. Since I apparently hate Mama, I've been given my freedom to sleep at my "office" which actually my nice apartment where we should live minus MAMA. But, no, I get to rent another apartment for them to live. Last night MAMA left for the whole night with her boyfriend. Sweet job she is doing taking care of everyone which is allegedly the entire purpose. Next blog will be about fortune tellers, soap, and other random insanities.